Trouble with a capital T...

[nuclearkid]

Love your writing style, bro. Got me hooked every word of the way.

I suppose Chong's is the dad of lady in question. Reading through your reenactment, you both have immense mutual respect for each other, which would not be that bad should two old fogeys reunite. In my mind, you could show hand with her and remind her about that uncle who carried her 20 years ago and then a little about what her dad and you have gone through. It may cause her enough discomfort not to want you to meet her folks but at least the ball is squarely on her side.

Once this is in the open, there's a clean conscience if you or her wants to continue playing. Seriously, I don't think its such a big deal under the circumstances. Breaking the news to her is probably the toughest part... But if you think that there's more than a miniscule chance she wants more than what you can commit, then you should be gentle and exit the gentlemanly way. Whichever, please do continue your story.

[sane]

Originally Posted by curiouslala

The first thing that came up in my mind is karma..
Well, i hv no right to tell you whether its right or wrong since you've lived longer than me..
But i do think that you're playing with women's heart..
Bcos if I'm in one of your women's position, I'll be very sad to know that's u hv lots of women to keep your bed warm..

Well, enough for my-so-called-womanly POV..

There are few of solution actually, but the easiest is to be MIA and not in contact with her anymore.. Why?
Because if she liked you that much, she probably won't be able to move on in 3 months..
D

Hi sis,
If u read more about bro Wizrd, u will know where he is coming from. He is someone who just walk out from a marriage and won't commit.

He is upfront to the ladies and don't promise them anything just to get them in bed. Sex is based on mutual agreement. For this, I salute him.

I guess the key to avoid being hurt is to be direct and straight forward.

I made it very clear from day 1 to those who know me that I don't go for flings/ons/fbs and when i went out with my guy friends, I paid for my own share or we take turns to pay, won't sponge on anyone too. That friendship line is drawn very clearly

Even if bro is my personal friend, I will made this known for him too.

For this case, it's really unexpected n for the best for both of them, stop all contact for the hurt to be minimal.

Even if it seem to v cruel, this is actually the best for the other party, release her n let her move on, just leave the beautiful memories behind.

[curiouslala]

Originally Posted by Wizrd

Yes sis...good scolding...I accept...

But...

Maybe it's my thinking...but I really do not think I am playing with their feelings...

As one of the bros mentioned...yes...while I do not promise any of them anything...there is also no exclusion clause....meaning anyone of them could be the right one for me....

All the time I am with them...I focus entirely on them...and give them my all...

I try to make them happy...try to show them a good time...get to know them...let them get to know me...and at no time will I promise them a future or even hint at one...it is more like a 'holiday romance' type concept...they have fun, I have fun...and then we see if we choose to continue...

It seldom happens, but occasionally, a woman will ask me if I have other girlfriends...and I will tell them yes...they can then decide what they want to do...

Obviously, I am not going to volunteer the information...

Wouldn't a woman rather have a fun time with someone she likes than to just sit at home by herself??

Perhaps men think differently...but I know I sure prefer a woman I don't dislike...come around to take me out to eat and show me a good time...sex or no sex...and enjoy her company...instead of sitting in my room alone...

Alrighty...we can debate this point another time if you wish to discuss it further...

Yes and yes...I agree.....hahaha...makan makan some more...MIA is the only way I can think of...hurt her in the short run...spare her in the long run...

I reserve judgement on whether she wanted me to meet her parents because of her emotional state for me...possible, but I doubt it...

Hahaha...she won't come looking for me...I think I know her enough to say that...and her father will not send her to Sg...

Oh...if they migrate back to Sg...that is fine with me...I do not live in Sg sis...

Yes...very enlightening post sis...thank you very much and I will take your points on board...

Please tell me, if you can spare the time...what is this obssession that women have about owning the man 100% when they don't actually want 100% of the man??

Cheers again sis...talk again soon...


P/S...just read your siggy...interesting...care to discuss??
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Lol.. No need to discuss about my siggy la.. That one, case close liao..

But anyway, I've to say sorry bcos i said that you playing with girl's heart.
Bcos if when she asked u whether you have other gfs or not n u answer it with Yes..
Then I must say that you're not playing with their heart n it's more like u fall into your own game (not karma)

And yeah, like sis sane said below, that's called mutual benefits la..
Bcos if I happen to be in one of ur gfs place, I'd be happy if you told me the real fact that you are having other gfs except me and it'll give me chance to think whether I want to continue screwing u or not..

In my own case, I also did asked him about that few times and he dun wan be honest..
Even after I told him that's its okay if he have gf..
Then tada.. Her gf or maybe i should say a fiance, came out into the picture
And it's was not good la..
If he's being honest with me, maybe we're now in thailand and having a LOT of fun tgt..

About the owning, let me think on how to rephrase it in English..
Paiseh.. My mother tongue isn't English..

Originally Posted by sane

Hi sis,
If u read more about bro Wizrd, u will know where he is coming from. He is someone who just walk out from a marriage and won't commit.

He is upfront to the ladies and don't promise them anything just to get them in bed. Sex is based on mutual agreement. For this, I salute him.

I guess the key to avoid being hurt is to be direct and straight forward.

I made it very clear from day 1 to those who know me that I don't go for flings/ons/fbs and when i went out with my guy friends, I paid for my own share or we take turns to pay, won't sponge on anyone too. That friendship line is drawn very clearly

Even if bro is my personal friend, I will made this known for him too.

For this case, it's really unexpected n for the best for both of them, stop all contact for the hurt to be minimal.

Even if it seem to v cruel, this is actually the best for the other party, release her n let her move on, just leave the beautiful memories behind.

Paiseh ah sis..
I've been MIA for few weeks and the last thing that i read from bro Wizrd is when he shared his tips n tricks on how to have fun with local delights w/o hv to pay or tabao (correct me if I'm wrong)..
And i really dunno if he would answer those girls honestly if they ask about his other gfs...
Hehe.. Paiseh ahhh..

[sean69]

Originally Posted by sane

Hi sis,
If u read more about bro Wizrd, u will know where he is coming from. He is someone who just walk out from a marriage and won't commit.

He is upfront to the ladies and don't promise them anything just to get them in bed. Sex is based on mutual agreement. For this, I salute him.

I guess the key to avoid being hurt is to be direct and straight forward.

...

For this case, it's really unexpected n for the best for both of them, stop all contact for the hurt to be minimal.

Even if it seem to v cruel, this is actually the best for the other party, release her n let her move on, just leave the beautiful memories behind.

For this case, at least for TS, he knows why he is stopping contacts .. but what about the lady ?

Is it more cruel to leave her wondering what happen or would it be able to tell her the truth and let her decide?

no right or wrong answer, just wondering...

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by nuclearkid

Love your writing style, bro. Got me hooked every word of the way.

Thanks bro...very kind of you to say...

It may cause her enough discomfort not to want you to meet her folks but at least the ball is squarely on her side.

Yeah bro...methinks it may cause her enough discomfort to kick me in the nuts too...

. Whichever, please do continue your story.

Sure thing bro...coming right up after replying a few more posts...

Cheers...

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[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by sane

Hi sis,
If u read more about bro Wizrd, u will know where he is coming from. He is someone who just walk out from a marriage and won't commit.

He is upfront to the ladies and don't promise them anything just to get them in bed. Sex is based on mutual agreement. For this, I salute him.

I guess the key to avoid being hurt is to be direct and straight forward.

I made it very clear from day 1 to those who know me that I don't go for flings/ons/fbs and when i went out with my guy friends, I paid for my own share or we take turns to pay, won't sponge on anyone too. That friendship line is drawn very clearly

Even if bro is my personal friend, I will made this known for him too.

For this case, it's really unexpected n for the best for both of them, stop all contact for the hurt to be minimal.

Even if it seem to v cruel, this is actually the best for the other party, release her n let her move on, just leave the beautiful memories behind.

Thank Sane...you're the best...

Very true...draw the line so each person is aware of the boundary...and the 'price' for crossing over...then each and both can decide which side to cross over to...
Well said!

And agree too...I'm MIA to her now and probably will not contact her again. Surprisingly...my heart hurts pretty badly on this one...both for having to do this...and having done that...one of life's real cruel curve balls...

Cheers sis...please keep reading and commenting...


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[Tazzymercs]

Originally Posted by Wizrd

Thank Sane...you're the best...

And agree too...I'm MIA to her now and probably will not contact her again. Surprisingly...my heart hurts pretty badly on this one...both for having to do this...and having done that...one of life's real cruel curve balls...

.

Bro there is a difference in 不舍得 and feeling wasted leh lol...is you feel 不舍得 or that its just a wasted effort leh...

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by curiouslala

Lol.. No need to discuss about my siggy la.. That one, case close liao..

Hey sis...

I picked up on your siggy not because I'm nosey....was just going to point out to you your state of mind when writing that...kinda in answer to your accusation from before...

Glad you said what you said below though...and we seem to agree on the fundamental fact that both men and women enjoy fun...and dare I say, sex...it is then only a matter of how we get it, right?

But anyway, I've to say sorry bcos i said that you playing with girl's heart.
Bcos if when she asked u whether you have other gfs or not n u answer it with Yes..
Then I must say that you're not playing with their heart n it's more like u fall into your own game (not karma)

Please sis...no need to apologise...it was only a matter of perspective...

And yeah, like sis sane said below, that's called mutual benefits la..
Bcos if I happen to be in one of ur gfs place, I'd be happy if you told me the real fact that you are having other gfs except me and it'll give me chance to think whether I want to continue screwing u or not..

Hahaha....that's sounds...errrmmm...yeah...

I understand what you mean sis...glad you can accept my method...

In my own case, I also did asked him about that few times and he dun wan be honest..
Even after I told him that's its okay if he have gf..
Then tada.. Her gf or maybe i should say a fiance, came out into the picture
And it's was not good la..
If he's being honest with me, maybe we're now in thailand and having a LOT of fun tgt..

I'm sorry to hear that sis...

Sadly, some guys like to employ the fog of war as their only tactics.

I suppose it's insecurity or not wanting to miss out for being honest...

But being a guy...I can see where they are coming from...and can only say 'all is fair in love and battle'...guys must do what they have to do...right or wrong, moral or not...and the ladies have to find ways verify and check merchandise before accepting....something like buyer beware....

It is a dance of sorts after all, and kinda unfair to only blame one side. One team primarily does the offence and one team primarily does the defence...and hopefully the dance is a joyous one for both parties...

The toughest dance is when one side wants to be upfront, but the other side thinks it's a trick... Neither side can win those...

About the owning, let me think on how to rephrase it in English..
Paiseh.. My mother tongue isn't English..

Hahaha...English is not my mother tongue either...no worries, please take all the time you need...

While you're thinking...can you please add this question to the production line...

When sex is involved, everyone seem to think or believe that the man gained while the woman lost. Be it reputation, morality, value...did the woman really lose something for having sex with a man?

I've been MIA for few weeks and the last thing that i read from bro Wizrd is when he shared his tips n tricks on how to have fun with local delights w/o hv to pay or tabao (correct me if I'm wrong)..
And i really dunno if he would answer those girls honestly if they ask about his other gfs...

Hahaha...sis...

Those tips are like a guide to speed dating...

I share tips on how to bring the horse to the water's edge...and ways to 'assist' the horse to want to willingly drink...but ultimately...it is still up to the horse to drink...this cannot and should never be forced...

If you have read through what I have shared...I gave plenty of examples of failures...and even suggested times to walk away...

It is by no means a sure-win formula...merely to help improve the chance only...and hopefully broken down into understandable and digestible chunks...

Just so you know sis...in another adult site...I 'share' similar tips to help women to attract guys and ways to improve their chances of being asked out...this dating game is tough...and we all need all the help we can get...both men and women...but I just dislike playing emotional games...people should be more upfront with their intentions...although I won't ever win that one...


Cheers sis...love hearing from you...


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[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by sean69

For this case, at least for TS, he knows why he is stopping contacts .. but what about the lady ?

Is it more cruel to leave her wondering what happen or would it be able to tell her the truth and let her decide?

no right or wrong answer, just wondering...

Yes bro...sadly, in this case, I cannot do both...telling her the truth will invite ten thousand unanswerable questions plus whatever she decides, I will still have to say no.

Therefore...the best solution I can come up with is to leave her wondering and know that she is strong enough to move on soon...

Cheers bro...


.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by Tazzymercs

Bro there is a difference in 不舍得 and feeling wasted leh lol...is you feel 不舍得 or that its just a wasted effort leh...

Yes bro...I understand what you are saying...maybe you will understand me better after reading the rest of my story...my heart pain stems from wishing I didn't start the thing at all...

I initially thought I can highlight just the facts...but realise I cannot make sense of the complexity with telling almost the full story...

Please read on...

Cheers bro...


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[Wizrd]

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(Cont)


Being Mr. Gung ho...I die die must try my luck...and soon...I warmed her up enough to go for a date with me...of course...the rest of the class had no idea...including Chong...


Ching and I agreed that our relationship should be kept a secret or she will never hear the end of it in class and that was fine by me...I told her also that I was planning to study overseas after my NS, so we should keep our relationship light...no heavy stuff that may cause us to regret when the time came for me to leave...within a month...she and I were meeting secretly to do the horizontal tango...


After a couple of weeks of getting together with Ching, I was introduced to her cousin; Chung. Chung was very cute too but different from Ching. She was the outgoing sporty type...always after some outdoor activities...always going in four different directions all at once...


One day when I was cuddling Ching, I suggested to her that we should hook Chong and Chung up together. She laughed at the idea because they were quite the opposite. He was the silent steady type and she cannot sit still for a minute plus speaks at 200 mile per hour. I laughed too. It'll be fun and who knows, opposite attracts right?


We spent a day or too to scheme it, and the most important thing was to keep Ching and my relationship quiet. This proved easy enough since Chung was the careless type who didn't even think we were together. She actually thought Ching and I were revising Japanese in her bedroom. So cute yet so blur....hahahaha...


It wasn't difficult to bring the two of them together....simply get Chung to come pick Ching up after class, Chong and I just happened to need a ride to Orchard...easy peasy....then at Orchard, Ching suddenly needed my help to pick out a thank you present (we told Chong it was for Chung and told Chung it was for Chong...hahaha) and we asked Chong to go jalan jalan with Chung to keep her company until we were done...meet back here in 3 hours ok? Cool...see ya...


To be fair, Chong was suspicious...very suspicious...3 hours to buy present?? But given a chance to be with a cute girl, he left it well enough alone. He did confront me the next day and i told him the scheme...we laughed real hard about it.


From all reports gathered, they got on well. She brought up his energy level while he gave her some calm...they were a nice couple...


Life was good and it got even better...after a while as a corporal...I was sent a notice that I was to report to OCS...to become an officer...wow...fantastic....


Chong and I celebrated...then at another time, Ching and I celebrated too...
I told the both of them that I had to drop out of Japanese because being back on course won’t give me the time to attend classes and do homework and all that...the OCS course was 6 months for me and that is a long time to try to juggle everything...


Naturally...Chong was unaware of what was going on between Ching and I...but he knew that she and I were friends...better friends than with other classmates...that was all he knew though...he did ask me if I have a girlfriend around that time period...but he bought my standard excuse of "who has the time bro?"


Chong and I would still meet when I had time on weekends...and Ching and I would meet whenever I can get away from everyone else I knew...things were stable for a few months...and I was having a great time...very tired all the time...but great...


Chong asked me one day about sex...when should he and Chung get into it? I was surprised that they hadn't done it yet,..knowing how daring and active she is. He said they never got around to it...they only kissed and from my understanding of what he said, not even the tongue kind of kissing...maybe slightly hotter than a good night kiss...max extent of wet lips and slight open mouths...no tongue and holding hands with each other so no auto roam...and lasting only like a few seconds at a time.... It was the 80s man but my best friend of the day was gunning for the 1880s...However, I wasn't overly concerned for him though. Knowing him, he'd come up with 'don't ruin the girl's future' type of old school Chinese drama crap. I knew Chung will rape him when she is good and ready...oh..note to self...remind her to give him an ang pao...


If you guys know about NS days...you will understand that with the limited time outside of camp...there was very little time for quality time with outside friends...between new course mates, Chong and my old kantang mates...and Ching...and family...juggling becomes too tiring some times...every sector got less time in my schedule.....


Nevertheless, Chong was still one of the main stay during my weekends...his parents' home was near a hawker centre...and whenever I went over to visit...his mother would always cook soup and desserts for me...his sister...21 years old that year...seem to have taken a shine to me too and always bought cakes and kueh keuh every Sunday...according to Chong...she never asked if I was going over...but always bought the stuff...and no one was allowed to touch them until evening time after I didn’t show up...it was heart warming...and I knew nothing about not stringing a woman along then...I mean, I was getting kueh kueh right??...bring it on...the more the merrier...her heart is her problem...sorry but every man (and woman) look out for his/her own internal organs ok?



(to be continued...)

.

[Steventan]

TS Wizrd,
Thanks for a well written thread & sharing what you went through ...

[sane]

Originally Posted by curiouslala

In my own case, I also did asked him about that few times and he dun wan be honest..
Even after I told him that's its okay if he have gf..
Then tada.. Her gf or maybe i should say a fiance, came out into the picture
And it's was not good la..
If he's being honest with me, maybe we're now in thailand and having a LOT of fun tgt..

Paiseh ah sis..
I've been MIA for few weeks and the last thing that i read from bro Wizrd is when he shared his tips n tricks on how to have fun with local delights w/o hv to pay or tabao (correct me if I'm wrong)..
And i really dunno if he would answer those girls honestly if they ask about his other gfs...
Hehe.. Paiseh ahhh..

D

Sis, if u r into serious r/s, put the intimacy on hold and take time to know the other party and like what u've say, he will bring u home if he is into u.

However if its only out for fun, don't need to think so much. Play with mutual agreement, 好来好散，再见还是朋友。

Originally Posted by sean69

For this case, at least for TS, he knows why he is stopping contacts .. but what about the lady ?

Is it more cruel to leave her wondering what happen or would it be able to tell her the truth and let her decide?

no right or wrong answer, just wondering...

Personally I find it more cruel to let her to cling on false hope or tainted her sweet memories by letting her know that "I sleep with daddy's best friend" n hopefully not to remind her of it whenever she see daddy's face.

I don't know how conversative her family is but if it's mine, my whole family will probably freak out.

Originally Posted by Wizrd

Thank Sane...you're the best...

Very true...draw the line so each person is aware of the boundary...and the 'price' for crossing over...then each and both can decide which side to cross over to...
Well said!

And agree too...I'm MIA to her now and probably will not contact her again. Surprisingly...my heart hurts pretty badly on this one...both for having to do this...and having done that...one of life's real cruel curve balls...

Cheers sis...please keep reading and commenting...

.

Tks for sharing bro. Without a proper closure and with the complications involved, no doubt this will set the heart aching. Time heal everything.

Do continue writing.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by Steventan

TS Wizrd,
Thanks for a well written thread & sharing what you went through ...

No worries bro...thanks for reading and commenting...

Cheers...

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[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by sane

Tks for sharing bro. Without a proper closure and with the complications involved, no doubt this will set the heart aching. Time heal everything.

Do continue writing.

Thanks Sane...

Yes, I hope the heart ache and regret will lessen over time quickly...

Cheers and more cumming right up...


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