Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[rawdy]

Originally Posted by jf66312

yup..i remembered one vb that i wanted to brk off cost no point carry on as i cant give her anything except s** cost already have OC and little OC...

thus i decide to let her go...sometimes see her ask her " em khoe khong"...
she say " anh khong muon em , tai sao anh hoi nhu vay nhieu"...

hai...i tongue tied ..dunno how to explain further so just told her "em giu gin suc khoe" & walked away....

what does this mean ? those viet speech ? anyway online i can type this non official viet words to translate into english ? wish to learn abit of viet

[haosac]

To all bros here who have vợ VN or who are thinking of having vợ VN, I've read through your several threads on VGs and I do really appreciate your effort to understand VGs and treat VGs nicely, not like those Koreans/TWneses (not all of them though) who just "purchase" VGs to be their bx and treat the gals like shit. In return, I hereby will try my best to share with you my limited knowledge bout VN culture/tradition, normal VNmese thinking etc.. Please kindly note that my experiences are based on what I observed as a VN northerner guy, whilst most of your VGs are southerners, so things might be slightly different.

Money matter. VGs often want you to give their relatives/family money (especially those from the country side), even if she loves you and not trying to KC you (btw, I'm not sure if I understand correctly KC , is it Kiếm Chác, or a Singaporian word?). That's not just because she wants to show off (well, it's partly show off), but also she wants her relatives to know that her ox chiều her, care about her, and she has a happy/wealthy life with you. Since you are foreigners, the relatives would expect that your are richer than average Vguys (and that's true). Therefore if you give them too little money at some important/special events (Tet holiday, weddings..), they may think that their gal is unlucky cause she's married to a mean guy. But if you give them too much money, they may find that's easy earn money and start to want more from you. So, how much is enough..

Following is a good example from bro volcano (with my opinion in red) on how much is enough for ang pow in Tet/Lunar New Year (which is quite near, 3 months frm now yay). The amount of ang pow bro volcano gave is actually close to city standard for a middle class Vguy, in the country side it could be less. And, as mentioned, you are (expected to be) richer than Vguys, so applying city standard to village ppl is actually just nice.

Originally Posted by volcano

how much shld the amt of ang pow be actually depends on oneself.everybody has a different view.just to share mine with u...

50k - could range frm 50k to 100k, depends - all those relatives that are close and below the age of 18

200k - up to 300k, depends - really close relative that is above 18 years old.

1)the nephew of my wife,parents divorced since he was only 6 years old,and bcos both parents re-marry,so he actually stay with my wife's family until he went to work 2 years ago.

2)wife of my younger BIL

500k - my younger BIL

1 million - MIL

next year i need to prepare a BIG ang pow for my 'little darling'...newborn son of my BIL which will also address me as 'pa'.still dunno give wat,most likely will be something memorable instead of cash.

small reminder.....

sometimes,'money minded' distant relatives which never met for years will suddenly appear out of nowhere when they 'receive wind' that there is a new 'foreign money god'....then its best time for u to be a 'blind and deaf' person liaoz....u know wat i mean....----GOOD to follow

btw,its always gd to experience the life of staying at a village,after that then we will really appreciate and not take for granted of wat we have in modern city life.hope u will have a memorable trip.

[jackbl]

Originally Posted by haosac

she wants her relatives to know that her ox chiều her, care about her, and she has a happy/wealthy life with you.

Are u referring to chịu instead?

[haosac]

Originally Posted by jackbl

Are u referring to chịu instead?

It's "chiều" as in "chiều chuộng" = "coddle", not "chiều" as in afternoon. I think in south VN, people pronounce it (and thus may write it) as "chìu", still different from "chịu" ~ "agree/accept" (the tone sign)

[SureScore]

Originally Posted by haosac

It's "chiều" as in "chiều chuộng" = "coddle", not "chiều" as in afternoon. I think in south VN, people pronounce it (and thus may write it) as "chìu", still different from "chịu" ~ "agree/accept" (the tone sign)

Learned something new.

[pusielover]

Hmm.. So many posting abt Vietnamese wives.
Many Bros wrote abt how they "demanded" their husbands to send miney back.
Well, I believed in any kind of hus/wife relationship, miney ain't the only problem we face.
Let's face it, if the wife is not happy with her hubby, she can find all sort of reasons to be angry, even if you give in to her by sending miney, she will pick on other things. On the contrary, if she feel loved, miney will not be the issue she pestering abt. We guys need to play a part to let her felt loved, and slowly "transferred her love" for her relatives in VN to her family in sg.

We can slow talked them, i.e: a typical sg family both hus and wife need to work to sustain a family, where we married a VN wife, mostly properly the only breadwinner is the hus who brings home the bacon, so how can he afford to provide for 2 families? More worse if they have children of their own (I dun mind if the VN wife is enable to work in sg and use partial of her salary to support her "naing jia"). I am sure they wil listen to us if we shown them enough love and talk logically.

Let's be fair to foreign wives irregardless which countries they were from,
Do you think marrying a local will have no issue? It could be worse, coz local wives are financially independence and need not depend on the hus for survival.

Just my 2 cts worth of advise.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by pusielover

We guys need to play a part to let her felt loved, and slowly "transferred her love" for her relatives in VN to her family in sg.

I agree with you on this. Shower her with love and also show concern. Talk to her logically and with lots of patience, they are from a different culture and country. Make her shift her love to you and kids. But this also have to depend a lot on the thinking of the gal. Some gals come here on a `mission'. Their idea is to `dig' as much as possible within the shortest period of time. They have their bf in VN. So it depends on yr luck.

[jf66312]

Originally Posted by jackbl

U dare to say????!!!! To compensate, need u to intro a gfe vb for me lor

hehe..pai seh...will do my best to intro though u might be more pro in picking one....

[jf66312]

Originally Posted by jackbl

you should start to learn the song "Mai mai mot tinh yeu" and sing to your wife. If got time let's practise together

ok...no probz...

[jf66312]

Originally Posted by rawdy

what does this mean ? those viet speech ? anyway online i can type this non official viet words to translate into english ? wish to learn abit of viet

bro..

" em khoe khong" - how are you/how have you been

" anh khong muon em , tai sao anh hoi nhu vay nhieu" - you dont want me already , why ask so much..

"em giu gin suc khoe" - pls take care..

you can try google translate also , if not pls refer to bro jackbl signature...

[jf66312]

Originally Posted by pusielover

Hmm.. So many posting abt Vietnamese wives.
Many Bros wrote abt how they "demanded" their husbands to send miney back.
Well, I believed in any kind of hus/wife relationship, miney ain't the only problem we face

Let's be fair to foreign wives irregardless which countries they were from,
Do you think marrying a local will have no issue? It could be worse, coz local wives are financially independence and need not depend on the hus for survival.

Just my 2 cts worth of advise.

Originally Posted by SingViet

I agree with you on this. Shower her with love and also show concern. Talk to her logically and with lots of patience, they are from a different culture and country. Make her shift her love to you and kids. But this also have to depend a lot on the thinking of the gal. Some gals come here on a `mission'. Their idea is to `dig' as much as possible within the shortest period of time. They have their bf in VN. So it depends on yr luck.

yup..thats what most of us here are trying to do i guess...some of my frens with VN wives also trying hard on this...some even call this the "brainwash" technique...

have yet to master it though... thats why we are in this thread to share as well...

[Golden question]

Originally Posted by pusielover

Hmm.. So many posting abt Vietnamese wives.
Many Bros wrote abt how they "demanded" their husbands to send miney back.
Well, I believed in any kind of hus/wife relationship, miney ain't the only problem we face.
Let's face it, if the wife is not happy with her hubby, she can find all sort of reasons to be angry, even if you give in to her by sending miney, she will pick on other things. On the contrary, if she feel loved, miney will not be the issue she pestering abt. We guys need to play a part to let her felt loved, and slowly "transferred her love" for her relatives in VN to her family in sg.

We can slow talked them, i.e: a typical sg family both hus and wife need to work to sustain a family, where we married a VN wife, mostly properly the only breadwinner is the hus who brings home the bacon, so how can he afford to provide for 2 families? More worse if they have children of their own (I dun mind if the VN wife is enable to work in sg and use partial of her salary to support her "naing jia"). I am sure they wil listen to us if we shown them enough love and talk logically.

Let's be fair to foreign wives irregardless which countries they were from,
Do you think marrying a local will have no issue? It could be worse, coz local wives are financially independence and need not depend on the hus for survival.

Just my 2 cts worth of advise.

As most girl who marry here are mostly poor in their country so the issue of money for their family member will surely surface.A lot of thing is really depends on how a sg man handle it and how much that foreign wife really understand.

Patience,understanding and dicussing with her will help to solve all this cos i think most foreign wife are more understanding (i mean good one with no other motive) if they understand where u come from.

I do agree with u on what u say especially on marrying local can be more worst than marry a girl from a poor country as they are more demanding and they would prefer to divorce than saving the marriage.My wife always tell me is fated we are together and any problem between us and can be discuss.All marriage is full of ups and down,nobody will know what will happen next

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by Golden question

... my wife even ask me want to go bj massage or not

My wife also same ..

AFter got BB, very tired, dun want to make love ... say she give me money go outside 'DO' ...

Dunno real or not

OF course never try .... have benn faithful eversince I marry her except go massage bbbj

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by Golden question

u have to buy your air ticket now if u are flying budget cos buy now the price still not that high

since she never go back after marry u for 2 years,maybe u want to let her go cos they think that going back on CNY is like 'tuan yuan' or reunion for them but must get ready your yussof ishak first

i guess certain things are unavoidable ... if she is willing to stay back with u in Sg without complains ...

if 1 day she request to go back vn for TET, i thinks thats ok ... imagine if you were her ... i also believe you will want to come back to sg for CNY ...

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by Golden question

ya true,still remember there was one time when she came back from vietnam.she suddenly grab my di di and hold in her hand.Then she look at my di di and ask him where he go when she is not in sg

damm funny to me

hahhhaha .. thats real funny