Reality...

[Risis]

I am sitting here in absolute darkness.

Because I want to feel how it is like to be in darkness, alone, and not a single person you can turn to.

There is no words that can describe the absolute pain and sadness that is overwhelming my heart and soul.

And as each word flows from the tip of my fingers onto this screen, I cannot help but think about all the time I have lost.

I cannot help it, I have tried for many years – to sweep things under the carpet. To tell myself that things will be alright.

That when the sun rises tomorrow – things will blow over and somehow , someday – things will sort it self out.

How wrong I was. How wrong I am and how wrong I will ever be.

My heart died when she threw the house keys on the floor in front of me this afternoon and walked away.

Yes, walked away like I am some kind of disease.

And what have I ever done to deserve treatment like this?

I can only hate and blame myself – because I let it happen.

I hate myself for being an absolute coward.

I did not have the guts to face up to reality.

And all that’s left of me now, is nothing but an empty shell

In an empty life – and realizing this killed my soul, and my ability to love ever again.

so, here I sit, remembering my life that has past me by

Sitting here, I cannot help but feel,

how time has passed me by. Nothing will ever change that.

Tonight – my heart died…

[Bangster]

Heart died only mah. You are still alive.

Since you know what has gone wrong,

pick yourself up and move on.

Nobody can help you one lah. If you wish to go through the "Im going to drink myself to death" phase, so be it.

But please do not waste any more time.

WAKE UP!

[shark89]

Originally Posted by Risis

That when the sun rises tomorrow – things will blow over and somehow , someday – things will sort it self out.

I can only hate and blame myself – because I let it happen.

I hate myself for being an absolute coward.

I did not have the guts to face up to reality.

how time has passed me by. Nothing will ever change that.

Tonight – my heart died…

As you have said.

The sun rises today as it is a brand new day. You cannot change what has already taken place. Your heart have been hurt deeply but you have to move on in life.

What doesn't kill you will just make you stronger.

The choice is yours now. Do you want to remain a coward? Or do you have the guts to face reality?

[mcmc]

You want to be depress for the day , the day will also pass by
You want to be happy for the day , the day will also passs by
So wheather you are depress or happy, the day will also pass by you n us
Than why not be happy and postive ? because the day will also pass by you n us

[uboat2000]

nothing is over till the fat lady sings. fuck what u got to lose, just try again.

[tianziii]

Bro although I dunno you personally, but I would like to be a good listener for u. And I am sure all the SBF bros out here are willing to lend listening ears too.

It helps to say it out (type it out), and we might not understand how pain it is like for you, but we can "listen"

Give it a shot.

[Reservoir]

Take comfort there and wake up soon!

[Sen5eS]

sigh ... time will heal ... eventually ... meanwhile ...

Welcome to the forum and forget your worries and self indulge

You are not Alone.

[Giken]

Bro, I dunno wat has happen but I think letting all out will make u feel better whether u r in the right or wrong. I guess all bro here will lend u our ear.

[lamhai]

risit,

feel what you feel now and nothing more.
life goes on, it really does.
when you are over with your sadness today, you will notice what you going through now is merely an experience in your life.
Just last week I met my fren who got a heartbreaking breakoff 8 years back. When the emotion flooded him then, he said he felt like jump down from the place we were drinking, in Thai Club, KL. He is a 95+kg big guy and my fren and me took big effort to stop him that night.
He is now married, and very happy with his life. When we talked about the breakoff last week, he hugged me and thanks folks and me for keeping him companied that time.

just move on, becoz we only live once.

[acidicavex]

dude you did not explain much is this a story your going to write or what? Look at this way life is short you keep staying in that stage you will either end up

1)with foam flowing out of your mouth
2)your body land on something very hard and you body is like taohuay slasp all over the floor.
3) Or you can brace up and live life to the fullest and have you body reduce to ashes when you get roll into a furnace while zzz peacefully and with no regret in 4 piece of woods.

Your choice but do elaborate more cause no head no tail.

[Leon1960]

Always remember that time heals all wounds

[WildatHeart]

Bro, life is full of ups n dns...
some ups n dns are even created by us to others.... or some others to us...

Smile...

Life is just a series of processes n we are like taking a train... it gets move on...

Something moves relatively.. either we move on or we are left behind by times...
for most of us.. I think we just tag along and laze w time..

it will take you a while to get adjusted, meanwhile, go catch some movies.. take a sports.. swimming, golf, etc

enjoy the moment to be alone... who knows.. you may like it..

[civician_79]

Originally Posted by Risis

I am sitting here in absolute darkness.

Because I want to feel how it is like to be in darkness, alone, and not a single person you can turn to.

There is no words that can describe the absolute pain and sadness that is overwhelming my heart and soul.

And as each word flows from the tip of my fingers onto this screen, I cannot help but think about all the time I have lost.

I cannot help it, I have tried for many years – to sweep things under the carpet. To tell myself that things will be alright.

That when the sun rises tomorrow – things will blow over and somehow , someday – things will sort it self out.

How wrong I was. How wrong I am and how wrong I will ever be.

My heart died when she threw the house keys on the floor in front of me this afternoon and walked away.

Yes, walked away like I am some kind of disease.

And what have I ever done to deserve treatment like this?

I can only hate and blame myself – because I let it happen.

I hate myself for being an absolute coward.

I did not have the guts to face up to reality.

And all that’s left of me now, is nothing but an empty shell

In an empty life – and realizing this killed my soul, and my ability to love ever again.

so, here I sit, remembering my life that has past me by

Sitting here, I cannot help but feel,

how time has passed me by. Nothing will ever change that.

Tonight – my heart died…

Bro,pick yourself up and move on with your life.Don't let this affect your whole life man.I am sure there is some other things that you can look forward to

[Risis]

I wrote this in my journal as I was in abject pain.
And it dawned upon me that there is not one person I can relate my pain to.
So impulse took over me and I posted it here.
Maybe somehow, I realised that if there were to be people whom will understand this suffering, then it would be here...

I did not write for sympathy, nor am I writing to gain anything.
And I thank all the brothers here so willing to lend a listening ear even though we do not know each other.

My story is one tinged with sadness. I never wanted to start a family because we need to get a HDB Flat and hence marriage becomes a necessity. In my mind, getting married is the most beautiful thing in my life. As it would give me much love and happiness. I would have kids, and I would come home everyday to a loving home - a sanctuary.

But reality does throw me a test that I could never win. I ended up dating my wife during university (boring). And despite the differences, she stood by my in my formative years of my career when I was absolutely broke. Over the years, my career took off, I did better.

But as both our worlds progressed, something in us died during the process.
That element was passion.

There was always something imperfect about our circumstance. So I tried to change things thinking I could tempt fate. I bought an apartment, hoping that we would have that sanctuary I always wanted. We moved in and nothing changed - things got worse.

We got married during this process because I thought marriage would mature a woman. This was the most fatal mistake of my life...

I will share more as my story unfolds.
Right now, things are falling apart...

You know brothers, it's ironic...
but here I am feeling the pain , yet there are girls around me rejoicing because I am losing my home... and the funny thing is - I cannot possibly love any of them anymore because my heart is dead.