Do you regret marrying?

[LauYewTee]

Reading through all the replies here... and maybe even myself, are we, in a rush to marriage? Why is everyone here this way? I wonder if it is the same overseas and aboard.

[Captainoceania77]

Originally Posted by LauYewTee

Reading through all the replies here... and maybe even myself, are we, in a rush to marriage? Why is everyone here this way? I wonder if it is the same overseas and aboard.

Beginning is love.....after honeymoon period is reality ...

[Incumbent]

Originally Posted by Bukit Mewah

Beginning is love.....after honeymoon period is reality ...

very true bro

[HCKing]

Originally Posted by Ngengheng

See that most man out there very afraid OC....perhaps due to respect...

perhaps becos women are more aggressive and intolerant these days.

[HCKing]

Originally Posted by LauYewTee

Reading through all the replies here... and maybe even myself, are we, in a rush to marriage? Why is everyone here this way? I wonder if it is the same overseas and aboard.

bro everything in life there r pros and cons, including marriage. nothing is perfect its only a matter of whether the pros outweight the cons. the same applies to having a child as well.

[sunhuan-con]

My good friend just told me he damn regret in marriage, lost his freedom and left with no money in bank. Salary not enough for 3 kids and maid.....OC keeps on controlling his freedom....He told me he married just because he was lonely.

[spodok]

Originally Posted by sunhuan-con

My good friend just told me he damn regret in marriage, lost his freedom and left with no money in bank. Salary not enough for 3 kids and maid.....OC keeps on controlling his freedom....He told me he married just because he was lonely.

This is rather scary to hear. But I guess all is in the mind. I've just done so last year and yes at time is like what your friend gone though, but after all I keep a positive mind and tell myself this is another journey in life.

[cmelater]

Hi,

I am surprised that I am posting this reply. I have been in this (crap) for about 2 years. Its exactly as what one bro described. The initial period is love, but subsequent period is nothing except duty and obligations.

I used to be a carefree guy. Festive seasons were always good holiday breaks for me, then... it became different because she started asking me to attend family gatherings, friends' weddings, CNY and etc etc. When meet, its always the usual question of "so when you having your kid?" or "why so late haven't have kid?"

Our first "break down" came during the wedding ceremony. We had 2 ceremonies and the first one was a net loss, after all the ang bao. She made good the losses, but we didn't have any agreement on that. On the subsequent wedding ceremony, she asked me to pay the bill and kept all the ang bao. I was surprised because there was no agreement or discussion on how to split the cost or whether she would want me to bear the cost. It was damn damaging to the relationship. I started not to trust her. On another instance, she asked if I wanted to exchange some foreign currency cos of the good rates that day. I provided her the money and the money never returned. After asking a couple of times, she finally said that she was keeping the money to make good whatever she paid for, on my behalf on another shopping trip. I was wondering.... cant this be mentioned upfront? I may be broke, but I can afford some hundreds.

I am already having a tough time accumulating savings. Lost money over business and other investments. Having a kid isn't the first thing in my mind. But, I know my SO is dying to have. She isn't getting any younger. At times, I wish to just tell her to part ways and she can go and have the kids she want.

The amount of incompatibility is just unbelievable. We could fight over anything and dispute over anything as well. Though I haven't hit 40, I feel damn shagged.... Financially, I am not that well off and still recovering from my losses. Even at this juncture, wife still wayang claim she got no money. But, when I saw her tithing, I was wtf. I would respect her, if she had been honest. But, to be able to tithe and yet claim she was broke, I felt being played......

To the bros out there, marry only when you are ready to die. Don't marry just because you love the girl. Life doesn't work like that.

[sunhuan-con]

Marriage is the most difficult to manage...Bonding of different characters, family backgrounds , education , ideology....Someone must really close 2 eyes inorder to maintain it until the end..I consider marriage is just a contract and it can be broken anytime ...With a strong feminism and woman charter nowadays , woman seldom respect the husband .....Think 10 times before jumping into the grave...

[cmelater]

Originally Posted by sunhuan-con

Marriage is the most difficult to manage...Bonding of different characters, family backgrounds , education , ideology....Someone must really close 2 eyes inorder to maintain it until the end..I consider marriage is just a contract and it can be broken anytime ...With a strong feminism and woman charter nowadays , woman seldom respect the husband .....Think 10 times before jumping into the grave...

Yes bro.... Its really the grave. Or the cliff. Jump and no coming back for good. Worse than ns. Ns only 2 over years and its done plus some years of compulsory volunteerism.

Marriage seems more like an outright abdication of individual rights to embrace those of the other. Bonding only, if terms are better. Abdication of rights if its worse...

I seriously agree bro. Marriage is a big mistake.

[sunhuan-con]

Originally Posted by cmelater

Yes bro.... Its really the grave. Or the cliff. Jump and no coming back for good. Worse than ns. Ns only 2 over years and its done plus some years of compulsory volunteerism.

Marriage seems more like an outright abdication of individual rights to embrace those of the other. Bonding only, if terms are better. Abdication of rights if its worse...

I seriously agree bro. Marriage is a big mistake.

But many man still love jumping into it...thinking of true love and companionship. Some guys even divorce a few times and never learn the lesson. Love and sex will blind the man.

[oreochcolate]

This is a very interesting thread; and I've read all 16 pages of it. I would like to offer my personal views on it.

More about myself first: I'm 30 this year, currently single. Holding a very stable job that pays reasonably well. Enough to live comfortably for sure. Have been seeing a foreign woman for 2 years now and will be looking to marry her in the near future.

Firstly, I believe that all men wants a woman who he can depend upon for his emotional and physical needs. More emotional rather than physical. Because physical we can always get outside by paying money. Some bros may say that I can get sex by paying and rave on about how good the bonk is. But to me, the emotional aspect is missing and at best artificial. Sex is best when both participants invest emotions into it. Many a times I end a bonking session feeling empty inside, both emotionally and sperm-wise (haha).

Secondly, marriage is a gamble on our finances. Because to be honest, don't think many of the guys here will be marrying a princess or a sugar mummy. So its between enjoying singlehood and all our materialistic dreams, or having a happy family and all the intangible joys that come with it. I will be able to that drive a BMW and live in a condo if I stay single, but I am not sure whether I will be happier as compared to having a family, living in a HDB flat and driving a Toyota wish.

Lastly, I believe all the bros here do wish that they were married.... to the right women. What do you guys think?

[urgg]

Originally Posted by cmelater

Yes bro.... Its really the grave. Or the cliff. Jump and no coming back for good. Worse than ns. Ns only 2 over years and its done plus some years of compulsory volunteerism.

Marriage seems more like an outright abdication of individual rights to embrace those of the other. Bonding only, if terms are better. Abdication of rights if its worse...

I seriously agree bro. Marriage is a big mistake.

Sad to say money issues is the No.1 killer in marriage. If she knows that u have financal issues, it is definitely wrong for her to take money from u and shop.. If the money is for household den it is still understandable..

Have a good talk with her regarding this. See if she is willing to accept a normal and simple life. work together to tide through the financial challenge first.

[sunhuan-con]

Originally Posted by oreochcolate

This is a very interesting thread; and I've read all 16 pages of it. I would like to offer my personal views on it.

More about myself first: I'm 30 this year, currently single. Holding a very stable job that pays reasonably well. Enough to live comfortably for sure. Have been seeing a foreign woman for 2 years now and will be looking to marry her in the near future.

Firstly, I believe that all men wants a woman who he can depend upon for his emotional and physical needs. More emotional rather than physical. Because physical we can always get outside by paying money. Some bros may say that I can get sex by paying and rave on about how good the bonk is. But to me, the emotional aspect is missing and at best artificial. Sex is best when both participants invest emotions into it. Many a times I end a bonking session feeling empty inside, both emotionally and sperm-wise (haha).

Secondly, marriage is a gamble on our finances. Because to be honest, don't think many of the guys here will be marrying a princess or a sugar mummy. So its between enjoying singlehood and all our materialistic dreams, or having a happy family and all the intangible joys that come with it. I will be able to that drive a BMW and live in a condo if I stay single, but I am not sure whether I will be happier as compared to having a family, living in a HDB flat and driving a Toyota wish.

Lastly, I believe all the bros here do wish that they were married.... to the right women. What do you guys think?

Nothing is perfect in this world. We man are simple just hope to find simple , not bad looking and understanding woman... However woman wants much more things from man ....sometimes find that man are in a difficult situation nowadays...everything have to please the woman...life will be a suffering til the end if everytime we have to scare this scare that..I had been through marriage life before and understand that is not easy at all...Woman will be controlling after marriage trust me.....before and after marriage is totally different world . After you have children more jia latz.....

[cmelater]

Originally Posted by oreochcolate

This is a very interesting thread; and I've read all 16 pages of it. I would like to offer my personal views on it.

More about myself first: I'm 30 this year, currently single. Holding a very stable job that pays reasonably well. Enough to live comfortably for sure. Have been seeing a foreign woman for 2 years now and will be looking to marry her in the near future.

Firstly, I believe that all men wants a woman who he can depend upon for his emotional and physical needs. More emotional rather than physical. Because physical we can always get outside by paying money. Some bros may say that I can get sex by paying and rave on about how good the bonk is. But to me, the emotional aspect is missing and at best artificial. Sex is best when both participants invest emotions into it. Many a times I end a bonking session feeling empty inside, both emotionally and sperm-wise (haha).

Secondly, marriage is a gamble on our finances. Because to be honest, don't think many of the guys here will be marrying a princess or a sugar mummy. So its between enjoying singlehood and all our materialistic dreams, or having a happy family and all the intangible joys that come with it. I will be able to that drive a BMW and live in a condo if I stay single, but I am not sure whether I will be happier as compared to having a family, living in a HDB flat and driving a Toyota wish.

Lastly, I believe all the bros here do wish that they were married.... to the right women. What do you guys think?

Hi Oreo,

I like to put it this way. "Having gone through" and "seen it" are two not the same.

When I was single, I was like you. Going out often and really often to see foreign women. Life was like a fairy tale in the making. Like her, go out with her. Love her, then spend time together say sweet nothing.

BMW is a passing phase. We all go through that, with a bmw or whatever other material product.

Unfortunately, the right women is only... "right" at a certain point in time. Many a time, we don't realise that marriages are fluid and dynamic relationships. What seems to work today, may not have worked yesterday or will continue to work tomorrow.

There are too many variables. Friends may shape how we think and what we believe in. Surrounding life change events also shape the persons we are and how we see life later on.

Truth be told.... you really can't tell if you will be happier. What is very true and matter of fact is that you will have to make sacrifices in a marriage, especially when kid comes along. You have to put aside your BMW and "toys" to take care of the family. When the kid comes along, all the happy hours turn into sad ones.... without you knowing.

So, if you enjoy life now, don't bother about going into a marriage unless you don't mind giving up yourself altogether to serve another woman and you enjoy it. Fact is, why bother? If you are slightly uncertain, you may end up hurting someone else. Women shelf life not long.

PS: If I can relive life, I rather give marriage a pass and just be happy. Being happy doesn't mean must have a f buddy or gal to hug to bed every nite. It means being able to pursue the dreams I believe in and not having to answer why and whatever to someone else. Life already very short. Marriage is (unfortunately) a very good way to shorten life further.