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Nothing is perfect in this world. We man are simple just hope to find simple , not bad looking and understanding woman... However woman wants much more things from man ....sometimes find that man are in a difficult situation nowadays...everything have to please the woman...life will be a suffering til the end if everytime we have to scare this scare that..I had been through marriage life before and understand that is not easy at all...Woman will be controlling after marriage trust me.....before and after marriage is totally different world . After you have children more jia latz.....
If have kids, life will never be the same. The duties and obligations are big. Cannot anyhow throw in the towel. :|
Having a kid is like buying into an IPO without voting rights. Neither are there any guaranteed rights to subsequent year profits.
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There is no such thing as free. Its either pay upfront or pay later. And... how much.
If have kids, life will never be the same. The duties and obligations are big. Cannot anyhow throw in the towel. :|
Having a kid is like buying into an IPO without voting rights. Neither are there any guaranteed rights to subsequent year profits.
Its more like buying a Greek junk bond which will almost default! Very few sons or daughters I know will return the investment the parents made on them. If they can visit sometimes and help out that is all can be expected.
I like to put it this way. "Having gone through" and "seen it" are two not the same.
When I was single, I was like you. Going out often and really often to see foreign women. Life was like a fairy tale in the making. Like her, go out with her. Love her, then spend time together say sweet nothing.
BMW is a passing phase. We all go through that, with a bmw or whatever other material product.
Unfortunately, the right women is only... "right" at a certain point in time. Many a time, we don't realise that marriages are fluid and dynamic relationships. What seems to work today, may not have worked yesterday or will continue to work tomorrow.
There are too many variables. Friends may shape how we think and what we believe in. Surrounding life change events also shape the persons we are and how we see life later on.
Truth be told.... you really can't tell if you will be happier. What is very true and matter of fact is that you will have to make sacrifices in a marriage, especially when kid comes along. You have to put aside your BMW and "toys" to take care of the family. When the kid comes along, all the happy hours turn into sad ones.... without you knowing.
So, if you enjoy life now, don't bother about going into a marriage unless you don't mind giving up yourself altogether to serve another woman and you enjoy it. Fact is, why bother? If you are slightly uncertain, you may end up hurting someone else. Women shelf life not long.
PS: If I can relive life, I rather give marriage a pass and just be happy. Being happy doesn't mean must have a f buddy or gal to hug to bed every nite. It means being able to pursue the dreams I believe in and not having to answer why and whatever to someone else. Life already very short. Marriage is (unfortunately) a very good way to shorten life further.
I agree with most of what you have said. Marriage is not an event but a continual work in progress and all relationships are dynamic and evolving.
We men marry because we feel we want to secure a certain woman for what she can provide to us, be it emotional or physical support, however even if you can find that perfect woman but you would never expect circumstances to change and your perfect woman cease to be perfect. Certain changes we can expect, like less sex or less care or attention like a car which functions less efficiently over time. We on the other hand may cherish her less. So again, the relationship is dynamic, if you treat her better, she may or may not reciprocate but the chances are higher that she will.
Need also changes as different times of our lives we need different things or perhaps a different emphasis. Can our partner be accommodating or be a hurdle to those changes. Similarly can we be supportive or accommodation to her changing needs?
Marriage is not for all and for some its a burden. For some, it may be rewarding with accompanied effort. It is sort of a job which you can sign up for and you know nothing about, which demands are always changing but the cost of resigning is very high lol.
I agree with most of what you have said. Marriage is not an event but a continual work in progress and all relationships are dynamic and evolving.
We men marry because we feel we want to secure a certain woman for what she can provide to us, be it emotional or physical support, however even if you can find that perfect woman but you would never expect circumstances to change and your perfect woman cease to be perfect. Certain changes we can expect, like less sex or less care or attention like a car which functions less efficiently over time. We on the other hand may cherish her less. So again, the relationship is dynamic, if you treat her better, she may or may not reciprocate but the chances are higher that she will.
Need also changes as different times of our lives we need different things or perhaps a different emphasis. Can our partner be accommodating or be a hurdle to those changes. Similarly can we be supportive or accommodation to her changing needs?
Marriage is not for all and for some its a burden. For some, it may be rewarding with accompanied effort. It is sort of a job which you can sign up for and you know nothing about, which demands are always changing but the cost of resigning is very high lol.
Its more like a gamble, than a job. The stakes are half of the man's assets. hahaha. For the woman, the cost is greater cos its her youth and time at stake.
I also like to look at it like an IPO where the man get the shares, but not a right to the profits and no rights to vote at all.
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There is no such thing as free. Its either pay upfront or pay later. And... how much.
Its more like buying a Greek junk bond which will almost default! Very few sons or daughters I know will return the investment the parents made on them. If they can visit sometimes and help out that is all can be expected.
Greek bonds still can be saved. There are interested parties who will try to save Greece.
Kids are more like the guys calling from Washington and asking for money. When you do get such calls, you better siam cos this is a scam and more obvious than those calls from Nigeria.
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There is no such thing as free. Its either pay upfront or pay later. And... how much.
Its more like a gamble, than a job. The stakes are half of the man's assets. hahaha. For the woman, the cost is greater cos its her youth and time at stake.
I also like to look at it like an IPO where the man get the shares, but not a right to the profits and no rights to vote at all.
In Australia is much worst ..even cohabit, the woman still can claim from the man...the law is call de facto ....man nowadays is very jia latz..the law dont support at all.The tide has change , male chauvinist had been perish forever.
Its more like buying a Greek junk bond which will almost default! Very few sons or daughters I know will return the investment the parents made on them. If they can visit sometimes and help out that is all can be expected.
Dont ever think of returns from son.....when they got marry thats it..everything will be under control by his oc.
In Australia is much worst ..even cohabit, the woman still can claim from the man...the law is call de facto ....man nowadays is very jia latz..the law dont support at all.The tide has change , male chauvinist had been perish forever.
Ermmm get out of all these "developed" states? Its bullshit.... If you read the news, even the founders lee and goh of ezra are fighting to split assets. Since when did this happen in human history? I think it only happened when the brits and europeans brought modernisation to the rest of the world and rights started to become "the" thing to beware of....
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There is no such thing as free. Its either pay upfront or pay later. And... how much.
Nothing is perfect in this world. We man are simple just hope to find simple , not bad looking and understanding woman... However woman wants much more things from man ....sometimes find that man are in a difficult situation nowadays...everything have to please the woman...life will be a suffering til the end if everytime we have to scare this scare that..I had been through marriage life before and understand that is not easy at all...Woman will be controlling after marriage trust me.....before and after marriage is totally different world . After you have children more jia latz.....
I think being controlling depends on certain woman after marriage??
I heard frm my guy fren tat his wife is controlling but not tat extreme...for example, she has all his friends, (ex) colleagues contact numbers...he says tat in order to save himself from all the interrogations, he rather tell her everything firsthand...his wife even go thru his Facebook acct & blocked his ex-gf..
in fact, he is still in contact with his ex-gf (the gal b4 his oc)...his wife knws abt it coze she did saw their smses before...but now tat his r/ship with his ex-gf has escalated, those late nite dates & steamy msgs is definitely not to his wife knowledge
I am surprised that I am posting this reply. I have been in this (crap) for about 2 years. Its exactly as what one bro described. The initial period is love, but subsequent period is nothing except duty and obligations.
I used to be a carefree guy. Festive seasons were always good holiday breaks for me, then... it became different because she started asking me to attend family gatherings, friends' weddings, CNY and etc etc. When meet, its always the usual question of "so when you having your kid?" or "why so late haven't have kid?"
Our first "break down" came during the wedding ceremony. We had 2 ceremonies and the first one was a net loss, after all the ang bao. She made good the losses, but we didn't have any agreement on that. On the subsequent wedding ceremony, she asked me to pay the bill and kept all the ang bao. I was surprised because there was no agreement or discussion on how to split the cost or whether she would want me to bear the cost. It was damn damaging to the relationship. I started not to trust her. On another instance, she asked if I wanted to exchange some foreign currency cos of the good rates that day. I provided her the money and the money never returned. After asking a couple of times, she finally said that she was keeping the money to make good whatever she paid for, on my behalf on another shopping trip. I was wondering.... cant this be mentioned upfront? I may be broke, but I can afford some hundreds.
I am already having a tough time accumulating savings. Lost money over business and other investments. Having a kid isn't the first thing in my mind. But, I know my SO is dying to have. She isn't getting any younger. At times, I wish to just tell her to part ways and she can go and have the kids she want.
The amount of incompatibility is just unbelievable. We could fight over anything and dispute over anything as well. Though I haven't hit 40, I feel damn shagged.... Financially, I am not that well off and still recovering from my losses. Even at this juncture, wife still wayang claim she got no money. But, when I saw her tithing, I was wtf. I would respect her, if she had been honest. But, to be able to tithe and yet claim she was broke, I felt being played......
To the bros out there, marry only when you are ready to die. Don't marry just because you love the girl. Life doesn't work like that.
Bro,
Quarrelling over money is a silly thing to do. But sometimes it is not within your control. Sad.
Bro,
Quarrelling over money is a silly thing to do. But sometimes it is not within your control. Sad.
Nothing is within men's control after marriage. Marriage is a legal way of getting men to abdicate their personal civil rights, including personal space too.
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There is no such thing as free. Its either pay upfront or pay later. And... how much.
Bro,
It is actually not that bad if you know how to manoeuvre your way around. The first 5 years of mine was just as terrible. She threw fans. I threw computers. I think you may have to give it time for characters to mellow. Just that I see you have a tough cookie to deal with.
Bro,
It is actually not that bad if you know how to manoeuvre your way around. The first 5 years of mine was just as terrible. She threw fans. I threw computers. I think you may have to give it time for characters to mellow. Just that I see you have a tough cookie to deal with.
Bro,
It is actually not that bad if you know how to manoeuvre your way around. The first 5 years of mine was just as terrible. She threw fans. I threw computers. I think you may have to give it time for characters to mellow. Just that I see you have a tough cookie to deal with.
You crack me up man. haahaha. Throwing fans is dangerous and is throwing computers. wow.
Girls can be tough.
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There is no such thing as free. Its either pay upfront or pay later. And... how much.
26-01-2015, 02:30 PM
Re: Do you regret marrying?
Re: Do you regret marrying?
