my affair with my sis in law

[jj583]

Originally Posted by RealEstateGuy

What an illustration of SG society breaking own. Fucking your sister in law? Weak morals and disrespect of the institutions of marriage and family. While some may see you as a hero because they can't get pussy unless the platform is paid they live through your actions vicariously. It's hurtful to your wife due to you being a loser and your sis in law betraying her .

get lost ... Axxhole .... if u r of such " CLASS" u should not be here in the first plc ...
anyway, think i am no the 1st to blast u .... Go for your high "CLASS" maid!!

[jj583]

bro,
wat a story ..... my heart felt for both of you. the email part with that song playing was dam touching, shed a tear.... oh my!! Kind of have the same experience as you but that was dam long ago ... Sad but also glad that you & J parted. Its a NO THROUGH road. Guess a lot of bros have already given you lots of encouragement and this is from me = move on bro, whats done cant be undone. Make it up to your wife and hope that J found herself a good bf. Do take care of your health .

[FarAway]

Originally Posted by seowlang

i do agree that there is no one best way to end a matter especially an underground relp like this. prolly its so different from other relp that a 'normal' way of ending relp does not apply here. I tend to lean a little over to Faraway and your views, although the thought of her doing all these to spite me surfaced after it was brought up. i really dont know if i will ever find out the definite truth.. unless one day J and I can sit down to have a talk about it. i doubt that will happen anyway.

im not saying she hasnt sacrificed anything, but I really cant imagine if she did that to spite me after all that i have done for her. i will try not to dwell on this negativity for now since its just a hypothetical situation we are talking here.

thanks again for airing your views..

the ever grateful,
SL

Thanks sis hickybites, great to hear views from a lady's point of view in this aspect. Well I agree and personally think what J did (in terms of ignoring you), the intention was to make go through with her very decision to write that letter to end the underground relationship. It's very difficult for her to face you and hear your closing statement; the fact that she's your SIL already means that (like it or not) she has to see you ever so often during family meals and she needs to stop being in your presence in order to 'move on'.

To give you the cold shoulder seemingly is the only way out for her, definitely not to punish you. She won't have the heart to do so, trust me.. no, trust yourself (re-read the last para of her letter if you have doubts).

Let it be, let it be.. time apart is necessary for couples that split. Why? They usually (more often than not) can't just downgrade into close/good/normal friendship in that instant. Of course, if the cause of the breakup is due to some nasty reason, such that both hate each other, theres nothing to discuss about. For your case SL, it's a love-hate relationship with you and J. Want each other but can't be together, living for the moment dunno when it will end. When it ends, something's gotta give. Let it be you this time. There will not be another time anyway.

In time to come, both of you will be back on talking terms again. In due time, I am sure, when her emotions for you are sealed/replaced, you will have a warmer response from her being her old self. Before that happens, don't hold your breath bro, you need to pull through and ease your pain during this period. Think positive - always. Your wifey never found out and let it stay that way. That is a thick silver lining in your entire situation. Devote your attention and love to her now that the affair is over, she rightfully deserves every bit of it.

Cheers bro! Life has no rehearsal, life it to the fullest and don't look back! Only forward

[nsaguy]

bro she still horny?

[bugmenot]

Bro SL,

I thought this song could actually soothe your feelings abit...



Title of song means "Love without remorse" and the lyrics actually tells of a tale of letting go...

Tk heart n brave on bro... We feel for you!


Bugmenot

[reflexk]

Bro TS, I understand you were very protective of her, and that's what lead to all these in some way.

Now, the time has come for you to be really protective of her in a sense. Chances are that she is getting into a relationship with a guy so suddenly in an effort to move on, to bring the relationship with you back to normal as soon as possible (assuming it is ever possible).
What you should do is to inquire more about this guy and try to understand him and his intentions. The last thing you would want is her getting into an abusive relationship and getting hurt even more.

[sentimental2]

Bro Seowlang,

I hope you don't mind me driving some hard truths into you...


1. Your relationship with your sister-in-law is an impossible one...Now you need to move on


2. Your sister-in-law needs to recover from this. Just as you do...Now you need to move on


3. I believe you have cleared most of your baggage by revealing your previously untold story to us. It's good you did. It's unhealthy and potentially soul-destroying if you continue to keep them all buried within you...Now you need to move on


4. Constantly thinking about yourself and your sister-in-law will do you, your wife (and your family) as well as your sister-in-law no good. It's a lose-lose-lose situation...Now you need to move on



Imagine if your wife has discovered your affair...

Feelings will be hurt. Family ties will be ripped apart. Harmony will be destroyed.

You just cannot win. It's a confirmed, dead-certain, 100% LOSE proposition.


You have aired your thoughts within you. You are feeling better. Now your burden has eased...at least to a certain extend. And you are on the road to recovery.

But I can see that you are still clinging on to thoughts about your sister-in-law and imagining things you shouldn't be imagining.

DON'T!!!

My input to you will be to...

1. Close this chapter in your life...no matter how painful it can be. Time is a great healer.

2. Spend more time with your wife. Re-discover all the things you loved about her. Quit thinking about the grass on the other side of the fence. You already have the good fortune and blessing of having your wife by your side.

Make it up to her. Shower her with your love. Give your utmost to her.

3. Take up other healthy activities like reading, meditation or sports. Go sweat it out. Go exercise. Do mind and body nourishing activities.

And finally...

4. Give your blessings to your sister-in-law. Let her go.

Move On My Friend. And Good Luck!

[FarAway]

Originally Posted by sentimental2

Bro Seowlang,

I hope you don't mind me driving some hard truths into you...

What can I say? I totally agree with sentimental2. Great summary, point form, blunt it may be but no fluff at all. Happy wkend everyone

[jj583]

spot on bro ....

[itiswhatitis]

hi bro seowlang,

move on in life. i ve been through similar, but not so epidsode, events two yrs ago. e moment of letting go s of course painful, but when time passes, u jus remind yrself w a smile.

last nite, my ex sms me for a drink.......... n i smilingly replied: "no". i move on, she doesnt. whether she takes me as a fb, or atm machine, or watever, it s over. i dun really wanna be next to her if i can, though i admit till today, she s e best sex partner i ever had.

hope yr life s moving on well, bro. there r many things in life tat we haven do yet. pick up another hobby la!

good luck to yr journey!

[NotToForget]

不在乎天长地久,只在乎曾经拥有。

[seowlang]

thanks guys.. i know there is no through road and i have to move on.. i will..

anyway, i was mind fucked during the dinner.. will give details soon..

appreciate all your encouragements and thoughts..

good nite.

cheers
sl

[MarsIswar]

Originally Posted by seowlang

thanks guys.. i know there is no through road and i have to move on.. i will..

anyway, i was mind fucked during the dinner.. will give details soon..

appreciate all your encouragements and thoughts..

good nite.

cheers
sl

be strong bro be strong dun sway back to the darkness... if u need ears i'm a pm away....

[seowlang]

I felt mind fucked during Sat’s dinner.

The setting was already slightly ‘over’ in my opinion. My wife and I had to arrive earlier to welcome the ‘guest’. When I saw the dinner spread, I was shocked as it was as if it’s a Chinese reunion dinner. Wtf.. i was never given such treatment even when I was a prospective son inlaw. For once, I felt i was just a supporting cast. or an extra if u may call it..

The ‘guest’ finally came with J slightly passed 7pm. He was introduced as M. Claimed there was a traffic jam. I would say he is average looking. Probably slightly less than 1.8m (im 1.72m) and rather well built. He is young (27 yrs old) and speaks very well too but slight air of cockiness (or was I thinking too much?). Yes, I was examining him alright.

We proceeded straight to dinner. There were small talks here and there between all of them except me. I tried to be normal but somehow couldn’t contribute much to the conversation. J suggested drinking wine. My wife seldom drinks and she declined. my MIL is a teetotaler.

Somehow all her actions from there on remain a puzzle in my mind.

After I opened the bottle of wine, J took it over to serve the 3 of us. Now, I would expect the guest to be served first but surprisingly, she served me first, then M and herself. I was sitting diagonally opposite her. M was beside her. I brushed it off at first. For subsequent refills, it was the same. Is she pouring for me first bcos im more important to her? Or am I considered an ‘outsider’ now since M is with her? Am I reading too much into it?

J was rather chatty at the dinner but I can understand. Afterall, its part of being a good host. But she was displaying a side of her that I had last seen when we were together. She throws her head back when she laughs; she was crossing her arms on the table and caressing her elbows frequently. M made a few supposedly ‘funny’ statements and she laughed louder than all of us. I contributed what I could with a forceful weak smile (that was really my best).

My wife was making weird suggestions (M was not even introduced to me as J’s bf but only a friend!) like playing majong together and going out.. Then one statement made me almost choke on my rice again.

Wife: hey, we can even go on a cruise again!

Memories came back fast and furious.. I will never want to go on a cruise with J again.

I was hitting the wine harder just to numb myself a little and it worked, as usual (who am I kidding?) Somehow, I can see M is really trying very hard with J, especially from where I was seeing him across the table. He was scooping dishes furthest away from J and giving it to her. He laughed at all her jokes; whether funny or not. When she stood up at one stage, he even pulled out her chair for her. Ok that was gentlemanly but at home even? I thought it’s a little OVER. Any comments? Ladies? Guys?

Dinner was soon over. J declared that the ladies go wash the dishes and said:
“You all men go watch tv and chit chat lah.”

I was already all sensitive at this stage. Why is she pushing M to me for chit chat? Why must she generalize us as ‘men’ as if to group us together so that we can click? There was never a case of 3 ladies washing dishes together. At best 2. So she considers M as part of the family now? Or did she want me to check out her new found love or ‘friend’? Or perhaps wants me to ‘screen’ him?

I did what I had to do. Small talks about sports, cars.. stupid himbo talks at first. Then he offered his unsolicited views on the current economic situ. As if I asked for his opinion.. *&^%$

Soon it was as if he was checking out on me. He asked me abt my educational background (which uni/jc and sec.) I told him I was the rebellious type that gave up on JC just to go poly bcos of the freedom. It turned out he was from a very famous all boys sec and jc. Now that perfectly explain the air of cockiness I felt about him in the beginning! Knn.. so fucking typical of boys from that sch behaving like that!

I was from another arch rival all boys sec sch. Now, many of u may not be able to identify with this.. but guys from these schools remain bloody loyal to their alma mater years after graduation. And both schs produce such ppl. No diff between M and me. There was somehow a very slight tensed and ‘buay song’ mood between us by then. Ok, many will think its childish but I really cannot explain such feelings and affiliations for our respective alma maters. Maybe it will take another boys sch guy to understand this rivalry (any out there reading this who can identify where u from? And tell the others it’s the case all the time) Perhaps some convent girls can relate to this as well.

The ladies were done with their dishes and served the fruits. I decided I had enough talks with Mr. M. J was seated beside him by then. I tried my best not to look at them but it was impossible. I was stealing glances at them almost every few seconds.

M was then engaging in very soft one to one conversation with J, so soft that it was clear he doesn’t want us to hear what the fuck he was talking about. J just listened and smiled slightly all the time. But I also caught her looking into my direction several times. Was she conscious of my presence? Was it a case of wanting to see that I was at ease about her with a ‘friend’? or was she actually trying to ‘spite’ me? (I had thought about this again although it was quite minimal.) was she trying to see if im jealous? Does she really like this guy and trying to get my nod and approval?

My mind was fucked. Big time.. into every possible hole a dick can enter. I left the hall on the pretext that I had to renew my fucking coupon, I mean parking coupon. I was pissed and angry.. too distraught to look at their whispering of sweet nothings. Although it was rather one way (only M doing that to J), I already had enough for the night.

I came back after a long time (almost went away for 15mins I guess) and tried to look straight at the tv without looking in their direction. The next 1 hour was like eternity. When it finally ended, I was so relieved to go home to give the well fucked mind a rest. It can only take in so much within such a short period of time.

I know girls are excellent at reading body languages (and verbal ones as well). Ladies, can u read this and can u understand what are all these? I can only think of 3 ladies who is kind enough to drop me a note here (hickeybites, bellatan and multiverse). Any comments?

Guys, what do u think? Not that I don’t care about your comments but I think you are most likely reading it in the way similar to mine.

A mind fucked man,
SL

[sean69]

bro...

seriously, u need to move on... from wat i read, it seems that you still have feelings for your SIL and is jealous of M..

question is, are you willing to divorce your wife and go after J ? problem is even if you get a divorce, the possiblity remains that J will not stick with u as I dun think she wants be the cause of the failure of your marriage and her family will prob not speak to her again.

think carefully of wat you want.. once you made up your mind and aware of the consequences.. just do it!!..