Do you regret marrying?

[Ho-Lee]

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/...iously-9015376


So many cant find a partner due to high expectations...

[911s]

Without kids its easier to start over again. I wish u the very best.

Originally Posted by JacqueMerlin

I'm in a similar situation minus the kids. (My foresight)
A side effect I must endure for hopes in the future of marriage with the right woman. I was never a fan of extra marital affairs or sex outside marriage. I didn't even drink for goodness sake. I worked hard to feed her insatiable appetite for her sense of gratification. She treated me like a spare tyre even though I'm her wedded husband. I remain an option to her even till the day we divorced. I can fathom the agony you went through. I am divorced and the fight was hard even without the children. I gave her an extra 60k (wife with price tag) to her to appease her to include the term on no maintenance to be paid now or future. She was still trying to make money out of me when we were negotiating our divorce. And this was possible because she was in an urgent need to divorce since she has another bf again. When I left my 'iron rice bowl', I worked hard and now make 3 times I used to in an arduous 10 years. Not very well to do but way better than the past. Yet I remained an option. Brandishing her rights with the WC, she kept having affairs after affairs citing they are better than i am in ways i never thought possible. The woman's charter ruins lives. Some women disagree but It robbed me of my primes and rights to a marriage and family.

A lot of women do not realise how much a man has to trust her to marry her. It is easy for her to fuck around and divorce yet make a pile from her ex husband.

I have to thank her new bf for taking over her, and even though he is a bummer who's only good with words, doesn't even care about her living expenses, his involvement was like a God send intervention.

[Ninja_Assassin]

Originally Posted by 911s

Without kids its easier to start over again. I wish u the very best.

Aiyoh...... he just manage to get a 2nd chance and you ask him to make the same mistake all over again? Marriage is the biggest mistake for any sane man.

[maxsee]

So many negativity towards marriage here...but i am sure 100% not all marriage are terrible. The best thing that happens to me in my entire life is to have gotten married to my wife.

[jnudes]

Originally Posted by hil169

Today i saw something similar. Many guys sitting alone occupying a table each. Women prefer to come together in groups. Thats the main difference.

Now I am beginning to see lonely women exercising in the park, drinking coffee alone in kopitiam and browsing newspaper at the same time, single woman having breakfast alone in kopitiam before heading to work. This women come in all ages, races and profession. Personally when I see a group of women together I tend to avoid them, their gossips and loud mouth are unbearable for me to hear.

[jnudes]

Originally Posted by maxsee

So many negativity towards marriage here...but i am sure 100% not all marriage are terrible. The best thing that happens to me in my entire life is to have gotten married to my wife.

I would say for a happy marriage to last a lifetime, one party (either husband or wife) must learn to give way and must be financially healthy for the relationship to work. Another factor is for the couple to stay loyal and no cheating around. Chemistry, cooperation in house chores and understanding with each other habits, hobbies and behavior are important too.

[january29]

Originally Posted by 911s

Without kids its easier to start over again. I wish u the very best.

have kids ... need to think through ....

kids suffer the most ...

choose between we suffer or kids suffer ....

right is wrong left also wrong ....

i can turn back time .. single is better

[Shadow_warrior]

here 99% of the response is about the sadness, hurt and regret of marrying

so that's a good summary of the experience

[Siriusam]

The grass is always greener on the other side one lah.

1) Regret marrying
2) Regret marrying the wrong woman
3) Regret not marrying

There is a trade-off between (1) and (3). Marry means can have family, raise kids, become grandfather one day etc etc. But no freedom, cannot do everything that you like.

Never marry means can have freedom, do what you want but maybe one day will be lonely, old liao no one take care of you also.

Give and take lah. But for bros who kana (2), sorry hor, you're fucked.

[Ryoshohei]

Married for 5 years now, and have one child. Do I regret marrying? Yes sometimes, as I see how other bros out there having fun flirting outside. Mind I'm in my early 30s, so I do crave for some excitement now and then. Also because our sex life has become mundane and not as good as when dating. But to be honest, taking care of kid has somewhat lower the libido; both of us are usually mentally tired at night to make love.

But when you come home to a wife after work, with dinner served, and seeing your child come up to play with you, you get a sense of family warmth and feel that everything is worth it. Having someone to share your worries and be there for you, being your confident is also something I learnt to not take for granted.

I must confess, I'm think I'm one of the lucky ones out there who are somewhat satisfied with married life (albeit the dull sex life). My wife doesn't spend unnecessarily (not those that goes for branded items nor bling blings!), doesn't really compare with others, and generally hard working. So if you were to ask me if I regret marrying, I would say no. Can my married life be better, yes. But I think a lot of effort needs to be put into the marriage, the need to taper one's expectations, and be responsible to the family. As the head of the family, it is also our duty to lead and manage our family/ wife (:

[topcook1]

Originally Posted by Ryoshohei

Married for 5 years now, and have one child. Do I regret marrying? Yes sometimes, as I see how other bros out there having fun flirting outside. Mind I'm in my early 30s, so I do crave for some excitement now and then. Also because our sex life has become mundane and not as good as when dating. But to be honest, taking care of kid has somewhat lower the libido; both of us are usually mentally tired at night to make love.

But when you come home to a wife after work, with dinner served, and seeing your child come up to play with you, you get a sense of family warmth and feel that everything is worth it. Having someone to share your worries and be there for you, being your confident is also something I learnt to not take for granted.

I must confess, I'm think I'm one of the lucky ones out there who are somewhat satisfied with married life (albeit the dull sex life). My wife doesn't spend unnecessarily (not those that goes for branded items nor bling blings!), doesn't really compare with others, and generally hard working. So if you were to ask me if I regret marrying, I would say no. Can my married life be better, yes. But I think a lot of effort needs to be put into the marriage, the need to taper one's expectations, and be responsible to the family. As the head of the family, it is also our duty to lead and manage our family/ wife (:

You still young la ...Long way to go ....Must go through big turbulence and u will know.

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by Ryoshohei

But when you come home to a wife after work, with dinner served, and seeing your child come up to play with you, you get a sense of family warmth and feel that everything is worth it. Having someone to share your worries and be there for you, being your confident is also something I learnt to not take for granted.

see my friend, this is the key

its great to say what we should do and sound noble, because you have a purpose driven by reasons that are worth it

1. Dinner served
2. Family warmth
3. Come Home to a wife

now if any man or woman for that matter has this, who on earth wants to eat outside or cheat?

And then its easy to talk about duty, and lead the family etc...

but here's the thing

If you come home to nothing, yourself, because your wife is always "working" late. Or has a active social life out of work. Or has a work hubby(ever heard of that). And its always you eating alone or at your mom's house or you just with your mates. And it goes on for years

No dinners together, family warmth, hardly exist. Your wife comes home and she showers, sleeps. Nothing to say, and she goes to work. Day in day out, its cold like hell

Coming home to a sleeping body, or a person who doesn't want to listen is hardly a wife

So my friend, you are talking about something very different from many of us who are sharing our experiences.

Hey I congratulate you on a great marriage, and if its great, staying away from temptation is probably the best way to not mess things up.

[jnudes]

Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior

And its always you eating alone or at your mom's house or you just with your mates. And it goes on for years

No dinners together, family warmth, hardly exist. Your wife comes home and she showers, sleeps. Nothing to say, and she goes to work. Day in day out, its cold like hell

Coming home to a sleeping body, or a person who doesn't want to listen is hardly a wife

So my friend, you are talking about something very different from many of us who are sharing our experiences.

I am single and I have been eating alone for more than 10 years over 90% of the times. Used to envy married couples that have kids and have meal together. Not anymore unfortunately.

I just want to live my own life the way I wanted and stop comparing with other people. For me good health is everything to me right now. Without good health you suffer and stay in bed whole day and will miss out many good things in life.

You should add when you ask for sex you will hear thousand of excuses, no mood, tired, tomorrow working, etc.

[january29]

Originally Posted by topcook1

You still young la ...Long way to go ....Must go through big turbulence and u will know.

i have been married for 8 to 9 years ... got a big turbulance now ... cannot stand but has to pretend for the kids ...

sad sad life ....

[jnudes]

Originally Posted by january29

i have been married for 8 to 9 years ... got a big turbulance now ... cannot stand but has to pretend for the kids ...

sad sad life ....

Read this:

http://www.star2.com/family/relation...vorce-my-wife/

Similar situation as yours