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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #76  
Old 18-09-2016, 03:32 AM
samdiy samdiy is offline
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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

Quote:
Originally Posted by megachiongster View Post
i used to have many fbs. it was great experiementing with different sex partners.
it was actually costlier than using FL.
because u dont have to buy dinner and be romantic to FL.....

but i still prefer FB than FL because there is more passion, the fb will genuinely like sex to be a fb.

i used some websites and apps to find FB..
u guys that are now married, how to get a fb safetly to release the sex? lol
Bro,

Can share with us which websites and apps to find fb?Ty
  #77  
Old 20-09-2016, 07:41 PM
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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

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Originally Posted by samdiy View Post
Bro,

Can share with us which websites and apps to find fb?Ty
i also curious siah. haha
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  #78  
Old 21-09-2016, 12:11 PM
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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

Quote:
Originally Posted by samdiy View Post
Bro,

Can share with us which websites and apps to find fb?Ty
I dont think theres apps or websites to secure an fb. Need good sweet talking and lots of luck to get one, especially in our super conservative society. Whoever lucky to find one, better hold on tight tight. May not get another chance
  #79  
Old 22-09-2016, 12:08 PM
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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

Guess you can try skout or wechat

I am not so much into ONS and Sexting or whatever techy methods there are.

Just old fashioned, go out, go to a bar, be a gentleman and take a lady home.

But the thing about FBs is its only last as a phase, so it will either go 1. FB moves on to someone else 2. FB develops feelings and becomes love and affection.

Unless the FB is attached or married, no reason for her to not want more out of giving her body up for just sex
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  #80  
Old 26-09-2016, 12:09 AM
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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior View Post
Guess you can try skout or wechat

I am not so much into ONS and Sexting or whatever techy methods there are.

Just old fashioned, go out, go to a bar, be a gentleman and take a lady home.

But the thing about FBs is its only last as a phase, so it will either go 1. FB moves on to someone else 2. FB develops feelings and becomes love and affection.

Unless the FB is attached or married, no reason for her to not want more out of giving her body up for just sex
So you go to a bar with a woman you already knew, of course?
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  #81  
Old 27-09-2016, 12:56 AM
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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

its never easy to maintain the passion or what you were involved for, free sex, no strings attached. Not supposed to put in emotions as well

once the FB becomes a gf, or a 小三 obligations and responsibility sets in

just had a huge fight, feel really like ending it with her. quite pointless, and the sex has gone to the gutter for too long now.

I don't see these type of relationships having a good ending.
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Last edited by Shadow_warrior; 28-09-2016 at 12:35 AM.
  #82  
Old 29-09-2016, 12:45 PM
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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior View Post
I start sharing, currently I have a gf/fb/小三 whatever you call it.

it has been a long long process of crazy sex, lots of problems, to now less problems but almost no sex.

If there is sex, its lousy anyway. Watching the hotel TV, don't even BJ.

Does anyone still get hot and heavy with their fbs after years of being together?

Let me frame my case which started 6 years back

My "gf" is ex FL

These are the issues I faced when I first started with her

1. She lies about her past or tells you half diluted truth. Even if its true, you wonder if she is lying
2. You worry about embarassement. She has worked for 2 years, wearing LV, prada, branded, goes to casino, how many cocks has she fucked, handjob, sucked, how many people have screwed her, sucked her, seen her nude etc...
- This happens when you start to have feelings for her. You worry that the coffeeshop old uncle, or the young army punk has fucked her.
3. You think its great sex, connection, GFE(sounds familiar brothers???) but then again, she has had alot of practice, daily practice on many guys, all races, colours, sizes, age. If you are married, I was, you think its better sex than with your wife. Yes it is, because your wife doesnt fuck men daily for breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper
4. Character- often they lie, and have character issues. Smoke, drink, take drugs, flirt, gamble. Bad tempered. Many times single mother, was knocked up by some ah beng who ran off. Has tattoos. Might have worked at the so called Fei Ji Chang, doing handjobs first, or hostress or escort, being Bao by married men or rich men- or all these before they end up being a full fledged WL/FL
5. Doing raw, how many of you do with protection with your gf or wife? If your gf is a ex FL, do with condom all the time, no matter what she says. I didnt get any stds or hivs, but I believe there was a bout of jock itch, that was thanks to her. I had to get a cream from mustapha $5-6 to sort out the damp and itchy stuff. Dragged her to the doctor again and again, to blood test, and found she had an yeast infection.
6. You dont become a FL because you are forced. At least not if she is singaporean. Forced because she has debts(loanshark, gambling) etc...is liken to the 3 ladies being forced to have oral and sex with SCDF chief- BS. The ex husband came out to say his ex gf is decent, dont wear make up- Cmon, total bullocks. Its a choice- a greed for money by selling her body, its the easy way. But look at her character, she is willing to open her leg for money instead of work a decent job. It should tell you her value system.
But the flip side, if you screwing a FL, we aint not saints either.
7. Sex you have great sex with her, you worry if she has had better, bigger and screamed louder. You want to know, but it hurts you to ask.

Fast forward, towards the end, the sex becomes, like all relationships, same, boring. And you ask yourself why the fuck did you fall in love with someone from that world. And you ask yourself what you had lost, given up, and sacrificed- was it worth it?

Sex is sex, love is love. You want GFE, you can pay for it and get it anywhere. The guys she fucked got what you got too, passion, GFE, etc...might have even got more. Because if she is your gf, she can say she is tired, dont want to swallow, condoms make her painful, so when you fuck her you need to pull up and not shoot in etc...And you have to do more, you think you getting free fuck? You pay with handphone bills, buying her stuff, paying for her food, driving her around...and if you are married, pay with your marriage- when your wife finds out you fucked a WL.

My advice, never "fall" in love with a WL, FL, fall in lust- okay. Screw the hell out of her, keep your wallet tight, and dont ever give up on anything.

All relationships are selfish, you want something, so does she. She wouldnt be thinking whether its too much to do this or that, so dont come down hard on yourself to treat her as a FL.

Never fall in love with a FL, WL, ex or not
Great sharing, bro. Really sums it up all. Great advice too. But again, sometimes we all know it but we will fall into it. sigh...
  #83  
Old 29-09-2016, 03:35 PM
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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

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  #84  
Old 30-09-2016, 04:08 PM
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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

Quote:
Originally Posted by megachiongster View Post
i used to have many fbs. it was great experiementing with different sex partners.
it was actually costlier than using FL.
because u dont have to buy dinner and be romantic to FL.....

but i still prefer FB than FL because there is more passion, the fb will genuinely like sex to be a fb.

i used some websites and apps to find FB..
u guys that are now married, how to get a fb safetly to release the sex? lol
Hi bro, can tell me what websites and apps to use to find fb? Thanks!
  #85  
Old 30-09-2016, 05:02 PM
HelloAngel HelloAngel is offline
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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

TS,

If you are so unhappy with your fb, why not just end it? Afterall, you don't have a legal binding contract like a marriage cert. Easy way is to reduce the meetings n let it die a natural death. I did it for a past relationship where it was a fb turned bf situation. Long story why we didn't started off as a couple. Anyway, we fought frequently and the intimacy was minimal. We knew it was coming to an end and slowly we met lesser and it somehow ended. I was hurt but I was glad. Hope you will find a solution soon. In life, we just need to be happy.
  #86  
Old 30-09-2016, 11:31 PM
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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

I think having a fb is about only sex and nothing else. From the start, it must be a mutual agreement that there must be no feelings involved and both parties are simply using each other physically for sexual pleasure. Fbs can be good friends developing a relationship from a fb agreement can be risky. Both must be mutually sexclusive to each other only
  #87  
Old 01-10-2016, 11:10 PM
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Dragonkeep Dragonkeep is offline
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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

Hi TS, i thot u hit the nail on de head with your analysis of the difference between an FB and Xiao San. The former is just for fucks, the other is for some emo AND fucks (for a time, till u dun wanna spend $$).

I oso think HelloAngel's post is spot on. Once the F is out of the FB, screw it and blow a night at a KTV or something to remind yerself how many other fish there are in the pond. Sink your nose into those foxy ladies, inhale their aroma and chemicals, booze n party the heartache away and try to leave with a gal or two for a consolation fuck. You'll realise how no FB or any other babe is truly irreplaceable (my view of coz).

I think the vast bulk of us dudes (pardon me ladies) are in this lifestyle basically for the banging. There is a very highly recommended thread called "Mistresses" that I read more than 6 years back wch i think sums up the whole wisdom of not getting burnt in investing your 100% into any KC. Save all that for your soulmate. After that, even if boredom kicks in, hey, if $$ allows, get a Xiaosan or two for some emo variety or just go along with commercial fucks but as that "Mistress" thread explains, never burn the missus unless you want a legal hell of a divorce and all the accompanying grief.

WL sex is least satisfying for me. Too many preflight checks (any cuts? ulcer wounds? does she smell funny? is she on long term pass (at least the Gahmen, God bless their strictness, checks for serious STDs for all those longer passes, singers and work pass holders included), is the CD in good working order?) then comes the restrained sex (dare not lick, dare not french, dare not raw, "SHIT did her vaginal fluid get my dick?" etc etc).

I can see all the benefits of getting an FB inc raw - i.e. where the above does not apply (provided she/we check regularly and you ain't one of dunno how many other FBs). But again, when the F is all gone, the bare bones question is whether the FB deserves a promo to Xiao San or even more? I guess that's the question each dude has to ask himself.

I've run through a series of Xiao sans myself, 3 and counting. Each serves/served a "contract" of between 3 - 6 years plus an FB (7 years but i pulled the plug). Once you hear "biological needs" and "status" etc., and the bonking's out the window, it's time to ask the question above. For me, the answer remains simple, no one displaces the chief wife (like our mainland ancestors) and the Xiao 3, Xiao 4, FB1, FB2 etc all better know their pecking order or hit the road. I know this may sound brutal but hey, it's kept the harmony at home well enuf.

Juz my few cents bro.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloAngel View Post
TS,

If you are so unhappy with your fb, why not just end it? Afterall, you don't have a legal binding contract like a marriage cert. Easy way is to reduce the meetings n let it die a natural death. I did it for a past relationship where it was a fb turned bf situation. Long story why we didn't started off as a couple. Anyway, we fought frequently and the intimacy was minimal. We knew it was coming to an end and slowly we met lesser and it somehow ended. I was hurt but I was glad. Hope you will find a solution soon. In life, we just need to be happy.
  #88  
Old 02-10-2016, 02:47 PM
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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonkeep View Post
Hi TS, i thot u hit the nail on de head with your analysis of the difference between an FB and Xiao San. The former is just for fucks, the other is for some emo AND fucks (for a time, till u dun wanna spend $$).

I oso think HelloAngel's post is spot on. Once the F is out of the FB, screw it and blow a night at a KTV or something to remind yerself how many other fish there are in the pond. Sink your nose into those foxy ladies, inhale their aroma and chemicals, booze n party the heartache away and try to leave with a gal or two for a consolation fuck. You'll realise how no FB or any other babe is truly irreplaceable (my view of coz).

I think the vast bulk of us dudes (pardon me ladies) are in this lifestyle basically for the banging. There is a very highly recommended thread called "Mistresses" that I read more than 6 years back wch i think sums up the whole wisdom of not getting burnt in investing your 100% into any KC. Save all that for your soulmate. After that, even if boredom kicks in, hey, if $$ allows, get a Xiaosan or two for some emo variety or just go along with commercial fucks but as that "Mistress" thread explains, never burn the missus unless you want a legal hell of a divorce and all the accompanying grief.

WL sex is least satisfying for me. Too many preflight checks (any cuts? ulcer wounds? does she smell funny? is she on long term pass (at least the Gahmen, God bless their strictness, checks for serious STDs for all those longer passes, singers and work pass holders included), is the CD in good working order?) then comes the restrained sex (dare not lick, dare not french, dare not raw, "SHIT did her vaginal fluid get my dick?" etc etc).

I can see all the benefits of getting an FB inc raw - i.e. where the above does not apply (provided she/we check regularly and you ain't one of dunno how many other FBs). But again, when the F is all gone, the bare bones question is whether the FB deserves a promo to Xiao San or even more? I guess that's the question each dude has to ask himself.

I've run through a series of Xiao sans myself, 3 and counting. Each serves/served a "contract" of between 3 - 6 years plus an FB (7 years but i pulled the plug). Once you hear "biological needs" and "status" etc., and the bonking's out the window, it's time to ask the question above. For me, the answer remains simple, no one displaces the chief wife (like our mainland ancestors) and the Xiao 3, Xiao 4, FB1, FB2 etc all better know their pecking order or hit the road. I know this may sound brutal but hey, it's kept the harmony at home well enuf.

Juz my few cents bro.
Bro, how do you keep the other women happy without blowing the cover at home? Don't they demand more after awhile? I have frens who are w married men n go thru heartache when they fall in love n want more. Of course, it's not possible cos the man ain't leaving the wife.
  #89  
Old 02-10-2016, 10:36 PM
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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

I apologise in advance if i'm displaying an MCP persona too brazenly, but i guess my arrangements benefit from the cultural difference between an SG-PRC Xiao 3 deal instead of an SG-SG-SG complication.

I've gotten by keeping the ladies happy with a combo of sex n $upport. I can't say that any of the Xiao3s have any economic grouses to raise. They didn't have to work. We've enjoyed jet-setting and accompanying me abroad when I travel. They all have had their birthdays, our "anniversaries" and other Sinicised versions of the SG calendar like Chinese Valentines Duanwu Jie etc observed n marked in style without competition - except CNY, but hey, that's the deal not being the chief wife.

For a bloke like me, it's been all about sex (or at least it started that way). Anyhow, none of them can complain about the lack of it. They've all been briefed that my 家规 once the apartment or hotel door is shut, is 100% nudity. Short of code red (but not always, he he), i'd made it a point to screw them every time we meet. Our bonk-lives have seen everything from eating off or out of her body food n cream, golden showers, CIM, ass etc you name it (except ATM). The current Xiao 3's been brought round to going to a nudist resort in Thailand, where groupies happen (check it out on the Undertable Swingers site, heh). I did promise her I'd rescue her from any chao angmoh pretending to bring a Thai WL in as a cover (Undertable warns about this) for a "true couple" (resort rules) or if she really can't bring herself to swap or get into a groupie (then we'd have to resort to exhibitionist couple sex - i heard the place is short on privacy).

I made one mistake before w the first Xiao3. Her "demands for more" started getting out of hand and making me waver. After some really deep thought on the subject, I bit the bullet and gave her the boot, wrist cutting and associated drama notwithstanding. Since then, each Xiao 3 or trial relationship starts off on the express footing that she's the "China small wife". No exceptions. When the clingingness gets too much, per the "Mistresses" thread (very, very, very relevant) and my experience w Xiao3 Mark 1, then it's the start of interview season, on dates and on the bed, for her replacement, shedding a lil tear and bye bye - in that order. The current babe was the product of a search of 1 yr and 2 mths. She's fantastic in bed, open to all sorts of experiments and with just the bod i like, athletic and w a pair of reasonably enhanced headlamps. And so far - she knows the score.

I guess the emo part for the gal ain't that great. But, hey like i said, with the really tough background most PRCs hail from, there's much to weigh in their minds about making too much of an issue. I cannot help drawing parallels between the "Mistress" thread n James Clavell's "Tai Pan" series. Writing in a non-KTV non-Iphone, non-internet era, Mr C's descriptions of the lives of HK dance hall gals and FBs to blokes in his books all stunningly bring to mind how little has changed as per the wisdom in the modern "Mistress" thread. Maybe in part answer to your question, sis, is the point that the HK-HK-HK arrangements all tended to hold up when the third person, however grudgingly, makes the choice that either the $ or lifestyle is too good to lose, or having 50% of someone truly loved is better than 100% of nothing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloAngel View Post
Bro, how do you keep the other women happy without blowing the cover at home? Don't they demand more after awhile? I have frens who are w married men n go thru heartache when they fall in love n want more. Of course, it's not possible cos the man ain't leaving the wife.
  #90  
Old 03-10-2016, 01:49 AM
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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloAngel View Post
Bro, how do you keep the other women happy without blowing the cover at home? Don't they demand more after awhile? I have frens who are w married men n go thru heartache when they fall in love n want more. Of course, it's not possible cos the man ain't leaving the wife.
Not every xiao san think alike. I have two xiao san who do not encourage me to divorce as they say it is bad for me, and afraid I will do the same to them one day, until a point almost break off with me several times as they do not want to be the culprit of my divorce. They told me as long as I only love them, meet them occassionaly and accompany them, they are satisfied. Occasionally they will jealous of my wife when I cannot spare my time with them, but they do not want to hurt her and said they are all woman so can understand each other. The ex xioa san even want to buy my wife fragrant/gifts and I stopped her from doing so. Her hubby ex-gf bought her a branded bag from europe. The current gf used to tell me she got quite alot rings (a few 1 carat) and I can just take it if I want. Woman is such a complication species I would say

Last edited by korean; 03-10-2016 at 02:02 AM.
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