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  #10291  
Old 07-08-2011, 12:20 PM
Golden question Golden question is offline
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Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

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Originally Posted by Seletar View Post
Me too the same, she wants money to buy land buy house, I said I don't have money, she said I don't love her. VN girls use $$ as a unit to measure love.
sg girl also use $$ as a unit for love and marriage but in another way,thats why viet,china,thai girl got chance to come into our shore cos most sg girl dont want sg man to be less educated,earning less than them or not even 1 or 2 C.
  #10292  
Old 07-08-2011, 12:37 PM
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Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

i know of a true story from my wife about one of her friends.she told my wife she is sad that her sg husband for 8 years refuse to borrow her money to build her family house in vietnam.her husband is from SIA and his earning is good.she told my wife she dont understand why her husband do not believe her after marrying her for 8 years and even she give birth to his 2 son.

if let say u are the husband and u know u have a saving of 50k and your wife want to borrow from u 10k to build house,will u borrow her if she tell u she will return u every month bit by bit as she is working?
  #10293  
Old 07-08-2011, 04:20 PM
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Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

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Originally Posted by Golden question View Post
i know of a true story from my wife about one of her friends.she told my wife she is sad that her sg husband for 8 years refuse to borrow her money to build her family house in vietnam.her husband is from SIA and his earning is good.she told my wife she dont understand why her husband do not believe her after marrying her for 8 years and even she give birth to his 2 son.

if let say u are the husband and u know u have a saving of 50k and your wife want to borrow from u 10k to build house,will u borrow her if she tell u she will return u every month bit by bit as she is working?
I think the idea here is not about the wife returning bit by bit, its about why the wife should carry the burden of renovating the house when there are so many siblings out there? Everyone should share a part. They always give reasons like they are poor, cannot afford etc. Just like my MIL, she always tell my wife and I that she is damm poor, cannot afford this and that. But she has money to lend her lazy daughter.
  #10294  
Old 07-08-2011, 05:56 PM
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Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

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Originally Posted by Seletar View Post
Me too the same, she wants money to buy land buy house, I said I don't have money, she said I don't love her. VN girls use $$ as a unit to measure love.
I think they will always compare themselves with their gal friends. when they see their gal friend's man give them money or buy this buy that they will compare. so got money = got love
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  #10295  
Old 07-08-2011, 08:17 PM
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Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

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Originally Posted by SingViet View Post
I think the idea here is not about the wife returning bit by bit, its about why the wife should carry the burden of renovating the house when there are so many siblings out there? Everyone should share a part. They always give reasons like they are poor, cannot afford etc. Just like my MIL, she always tell my wife and I that she is damm poor, cannot afford this and that. But she has money to lend her lazy daughter.
yah bro,that is the problem whereby their family member always push the responsbility to that one who marry a foreign spouse and usually they have to shoulder the burden.so sometime sg bro should also understand where the wife come from and explain to them but normally she will still think is their duty as a daughter but there is also some rare case.so bro who want to marry viet should know all this will play a part.

happen to know another one who get PR,during marriage her husband give her 1k as allowance and she was working.so within 5 years of marriage,she send most of the money to her family to buy land and build house.

after 5 years of marriage,her husband divorce her and that was the same time her father divorce her mother and chase her out of the house.now she is working and rent a room outside.suddenly her income went down without the 1k usually given by the husband and she have to pay rent and expenses all by herself.

recently her mother told her she want to rent a house in hcm and start her own small F&B outside the house.she ask her daughter to borrow her 10k to do that.so her daughter go to borrow from friends.Is a never ending things and bro should learn how to handle if want to marry a viet,unless she is rich,dont say
  #10296  
Old 07-08-2011, 08:23 PM
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Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

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Originally Posted by elth View Post
I think they will always compare themselves with their gal friends. when they see their gal friend's man give them money or buy this buy that they will compare. so got money = got love
even if they dont compare,their family will still demand yussof ishak and not uncle ho
  #10297  
Old 07-08-2011, 10:18 PM
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Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

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Originally Posted by elth View Post
I think they will always compare themselves with their gal friends. when they see their gal friend's man give them money or buy this buy that they will compare. so got money = got love
This is quite true. Makes no difference from singapore girls.
  #10298  
Old 08-08-2011, 06:06 AM
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Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

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Originally Posted by Golden question View Post
i get the answer when i saw his question and mine is same as yours,any present
Present? ok, go lam tinh with your wife for 7 nights in a row
  #10299  
Old 08-08-2011, 06:16 AM
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Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

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Originally Posted by miua55555 View Post
This is quite true. Makes no difference from singapore girls.
There's pros and cons marrying gals of different countries. Vietnamese gals, mostly lowly educated, have to depend on the husband financially. This is made worse with their lazy family back home who always demand for more. Different culture leads to different thinking and habits, have to spend time to get used to them.

But these gals are gentle and accmmodating to their husbands, treat husbands well (majority), satisfy husband's physical needs, give husband face in public, give birth to children. If both husband and wife are sensible enough, these qualities will lead to happy family.

Singapore gals are more highly educated and are financially independent. They may be earning more than the husband. A family with double income will lead better life. Family members do not give much burden. No cultural differences as grew up in same country.

But Singapore gals are not so accmmodating to their husbands, don't treat husbands as well as vietnamese gals, husband's physical needs are often neglected, don't give husband face in public as they believe they are more equal than their husbands, most choose not to give birth to children as they spend a lot of their time building their career.

So it depends on what you want in a spouse. Both parties are strong in their own areas and weak in some.
  #10300  
Old 08-08-2011, 08:11 AM
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Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

Quote:
Originally Posted by Golden question View Post
if let say u are the husband and u know u have a saving of 50k and your wife want to borrow from u 10k to build house,will u borrow her if she tell u she will return u every month bit by bit as she is working?
if i have 50k, my wife just wanted 10k, i will just GIVE if the reason is valid.
of course reasoning out with her that if this is a frequent request, it will not be answered.
  #10301  
Old 08-08-2011, 08:25 AM
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Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

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Originally Posted by SingViet View Post
its about why the wife should carry the burden of renovating the house when there are so many siblings out there? Everyone should share a part.
my girlfriend just had her house roof mended without me chipping in. i wonder if it will be the sane if i and my girlfriend is officially married.

when my girlfriend parents requested to refurbish their house, everyone in her family who can earn money will chip in. her youngest bro who just started working, kao pei kao bu initially but also chip in after being scolded by my girlfriend. he got his valud reason as to why should they refurbish the house when they got not enough money. my girlfriend also scolded her parents for extra request...

in the end, all sibilings chip in money just to buy materials to mend the roof to stop the rain water from sipping in. those no money will do the hard labour to mend the roof.
  #10302  
Old 08-08-2011, 08:33 AM
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Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

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Originally Posted by elth View Post
I think they will always compare themselves with their gal friends. when they see their gal friend's man give them money or buy this buy that they will compare. so got money = got love
not all are like that. whenever i have an argument with my girlfriend, she will say i don't worry or care for her. when i replied that i did, she will tell me back... "don't think that you give me money means you worry and care for me"
  #10303  
Old 08-08-2011, 08:36 AM
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Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

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Originally Posted by Golden question View Post
even if they dont compare,their family will still demand yussof ishak and not uncle ho
it will depend on how well your bx can shield you from such frequent request of money from her family.
  #10304  
Old 08-08-2011, 09:05 AM
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Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

Quote:
Originally Posted by SingViet View Post
..pros and cons marrying gals of different countries. Vietnamese gals, mostly lowly educated, have to depend on the husband financially. This is made worse with their lazy family back home who always demand for more. Different culture leads to different thinking and habits, have to spend time to get used to them.

But these gals are gentle and accmmodating to their husbands, treat husbands well (majority), satisfy husband's physical needs, give husband face in public, give birth to children. If both husband and wife are sensible enough, these qualities will lead to happy family.

Singapore gals are more highly educated and are financially independent. They may be earning more than the husband. A family with double income will lead better life. Family members do not give much burden. No cultural differences as grew up in same country.

But Singapore gals are not so accmmodating to their husbands, don't treat husbands as well as vietnamese gals, husband's physical needs are often neglected, don't give husband face in public as they believe they are more equal than their husbands, most choose not to give birth to children as they spend a lot of their time building their career.

So it depends on what you want in a spouse. Both parties are strong in their own areas and weak in some.

Well said, fully agree
. Go for whatever U feel comfortable and can accept.

Singapore - 40 years ago - like Vietnam - big families; poor in-laws also expect same. Now different, most families stopped at 2 - also more affluent. It takes a great man to make his wife (no matter from where) happy - problem areas different. Cheers.
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  #10305  
Old 08-08-2011, 10:30 AM
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Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

Quote:
Originally Posted by KangTuo View Post
when my girlfriend parents requested to refurbish their house, everyone in her family who can earn money will chip in. her youngest bro who just started working, kao pei kao bu initially but also chip in after being scolded by my girlfriend. he got his valud reason as to why should they refurbish the house when they got not enough money. my girlfriend also scolded her parents for extra request...

in the end, all sibilings chip in money just to buy materials to mend the roof to stop the rain water from sipping in. those no money will do the hard labour to mend the roof.
no wonder you love her so much...lucky you...
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