Do you regret marrying?

[july3rd]

Originally Posted by (bossy)

. woman used to be essentially different from man, her focus was the home and children.her love, spirit, and warmth made them a refuge and harbour for a man.her energy balanced his energy.

In the Past woman stay at home, dependent of man.

If given a choice, I think if the woman can be stay home mother look after kids, look after house without worrying of money.. Hubby pampers. Got spare cash feel secure.
Confirm will be focus on what you relate above.

If you want a woman to work, to manage a home, to raise a the kids and still cook for man cannot make any decision and still need to service man at night plus no salary it is worst than a maid.

But no deny, these days woman are more on aggressive then guys. But there are still a portion of submissive woman too. So, really depend what type of woman you choose (likewise for man)

IMO, if a married couple both work, both must compromise.

Guy should have their firm stands. And express themselves or fight for their rights. Likewise for girls!

Of course, not asking you to fights for your right to go clubbing drinking every night! Occasionally, with colleagues and friend should be alright. Can always bring your partners along that will be even better.

I always believe married couple should have their own friends or same groups of friends to mingle around. It is always better to let you OC to knows all your friends to make them feel secure and the trust will come naturally.

As for parents:- Weekend have sat and sun, each day go to either parent home to visit. One mth there 4 weekend if there is 5th weekend will be off for only both of you.

Annual leave at least 14 days, can always spare few days for both side parents for holiday.

Housework to be shared - can afford hired part time or full time maid. If woman can cook great, if can't! Man can cook he cook lo.. If can't eat out?

I personally prefer home cook food. Simple dishes are very easy. Both can learn together.

kids.. Then another plans.. All boil down toBoth compromise, supportive and helps toward each other.

Girl sometimes are stubborn/aggressive so do guys? As long as both willing compromise and communicate it should work out?

Of course both party must create a warm and loving home. If both of you always angry with each other, start to Cold War. Refused to communicate or maybe one side keep giving in. Resentment will set in and all start to regret getting married.

Stone Age, man are the hunter who is the hero of the family who food home, make decisions that is their instinct. Gals must understand this (I'm trying to understand also) even tho now is brand new advance age, our human instinct is always with us.

So, in a marriage, esp these days woman mostly are highly educated, holding high wages job, being taught about equal between both sex.

However, woman tends to forgot the human instinct. After work they still enforce their "office" character into home. (Not all but some) if with a man who don't want voice out.

Thinking, swallow the pride and obey the wife in order to survive the marriage. (This is very unhealthy!) how long can that goes?

Just matter of time, when all resentment set in. Maybe ard 20 years later when kids grown up the man feel he had enough of all the shit, start all activities or know girls having affair or maybe he feel his responsibility is over ask for Divorce?

The woman will never ever know why you have change, to her she feel she wasted her youth her time to a man all her life. She grief over it everyone will feel her man is terrible! Why like this why like that.

There was once, I do volunteer work I speak to a old man around 60 plus 70 at day care centre. He said today you all (volunteer group) come here, I don't need take taxi go red light district to find girl talk to me. I'm shocked.

He told me, he can't stand his wife for nearly 40 years. When his kids all grown up, he frequent go those places to find people chat with him. Give those woman 20 to 50 bucks few hours. Just chit chat make him feel loved and concern. Rather then going back home after day care centre, see his wife angry face. Anyway, he talk so much to me that day. Can feel his loneliness, despite showing off his kids are doing well, etc

I used to wear color lens on those old man, at coffee shop talking to those beer girl or there china woman sitting chatting with them, to me is very disgusting, after chatting with that old man my view towards them changed.

I will think maybe because wife passed away, wife too fierce, they are lonely?

Anyway, if the man now does not even want to communicate what he is thinking, facing or feeling to his wife. (Likewise for a man) IMO the marriage is already failure.

As a wife, also need to show concern and care of course try to think it thru whether I'm i pushing my man away or he is drifting apart from me. Why he does that? (Likewise for a man)

Most woman will think there is other woman haha I'm not a saint! If me I will think that too. Think a bit deeper, etc maybe is really because you are the one create all these shit? Or he really too busy? Maybe is time for some heart to heart talk? Likewise for a man.

But.. If all the heart to heart talks still does not works,, then I hope there miracle will bless to those unhappy marriage.. I'm not married.. Haha but that what I think and I will apply if I am married hahaha just my 5cent thoughts!

[Metzloff]

After many years of marriage, I've given up trying to discuss things seriously with my wife. Either she reacts emotionally or she just flatly refuses to admit that there's anything wrong with the way she does things.

So now I do things Army-style - "Yes sir", "No sir" but after that I just do what I want to do

[Johnbass]

Originally Posted by Metzloff

After many years of marriage, I've given up trying to discuss things seriously with my wife. Either she reacts emotionally or she just flatly refuses to admit that there's anything wrong with the way she does things.

So now I do things Army-style - "Yes sir", "No sir" but after that I just do what I want to do

I agree somewhat... ESP on those days when we quarrel with spouses.
Not every couples will kiss and make-up.
Luckily my relationship with SBF is worst than my marriage. (SBF is exactly like what you mentioned above)
So that gives me comfort. Lol

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Yes I really regret THIS marriage. Wished it hadn't happened in the first place. I feel all she wants is a status of not being seen by her friends as been the only one left on the shelve. Other than that, everything to her is just a show, those family pictures showing a loving family on holidays probably so that her friends could be envious of her. But other than this, what is there to make this marriage last, nothing?

[4411]

This is my story. Married for abt 10 years now mid 30s. Both working. Know her in debt before married. Control as tight as air tight seal. Typical local girl fetch here fetch there meal on the table before sitting. House chore i'm doing most of the time. Ok what to do wife I chose cannot blame anyone. After married been trying to have children but fail 4 times ( IVF la this and that la you name it we tried it )due to her genetic problem been wasting a lot of money in our so call top local medical providers. Some said go adoption la. Talk is easy just like farting. 10 year now her debt increase to the extent now I got to help her. Spend like no tomorrow. Talk to her end up get scolding so end up I just tiam tiam. One day i ask if we divorce she want house 70% say can buy over. Not a very practical person as she want to use the money do the things that she like. I ending up know a china girl with her for a year plus and now I think back I regard didn't think clearly before marry. Now I regard. Sorry for this long winded story.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Originally Posted by 4411

This is my story. Married for abt 10 years now mid 30s. Both working. Know her in debt before married. Control as tight as air tight seal. Typical local girl fetch here fetch there meal on the table before sitting. House chore i'm doing most of the time. Ok what to do wife I chose cannot blame anyone. After married been trying to have children but fail 4 times ( IVF la this and that la you name it we tried it )due to her genetic problem been wasting a lot of money in our so call top local medical providers. Some said go adoption la. Talk is easy just like farting. 10 year now her debt increase to the extent now I got to help her. Spend like no tomorrow. Talk to her end up get scolding so end up I just tiam tiam. One day i ask if we divorce she want house 70% say can buy over. Not a very practical person as she want to use the money do the things that she like. I ending up know a china girl with her for a year plus and now I think back I regard didn't think clearly before marry. Now I regard. Sorry for this long winded story.

Bro sorry on your plight especially if you married a wastrel for a wife...its really difficult for marriage to work if both don't share similar thoughts on certain matters. I would suggest you cut your losses before it drags you down and let her float on her own.

For me I was really blinded to many facts about her flaws, temper etc and worst a totally askew view of sex in a marriage. Its really putting a strain on this marriage and really if not for the fact that we have a son still growing up, i think i would have walk out.

[raftwee]

Sad to see this thread I thought I was the only one who regret! I married someone I thought can be a perfect life partner.somehow along she got to know some friends from work who enlighten my wife! She now she herself as a poor thing who married a low wage earner compared to those whose husband earn 15 -30k monthly! and she felt sad that her life is wasted after marrying me! Now she has a string of ang mo boyfriends and she is hoping to marry one if them for a better life! Wearing the green hat is one thing and to witness her wanton ways there are times I want to end it but after consulting the lawyer even with adultery, I stand to loose lots!

So here is my secret life, keep fucking all the whores till the day I die!

[raftwee]

Originally Posted by 4411

I ending up know a china girl with her for a year plus and now I think back I regard didn't think clearly before marry. Now I regard. Sorry for this long winded story.

Dun step into another tragic chapter bro! I have been there before and when together all sorts of story and events will come up enough to trigger another heart attack for you!

[naemlo]

So many unhappiness.... fortunately or unfortunately, I married a foreign woman and most of my time I am staying in foreign country. Financially, there is no pressure. Spend about 2-2.5k SGD per month, my wife can work or dun but I want her to work to spend her time in office better than eats, sleeps, shops or lazes around.

I married my wife after we had been together for about 5 years. She went thru shit with me.... almost a year without income, living off my little saving. She earned about 1000 SGD and paid for almost everything and we ate simple cheap meals with no complaint.

She is from a middle class family, retired parents and live simple life. Guess, it is the culture, the country she is in and brought up make her a simple lady with no desire to buy luxury stuffs, spend money wisely....

[ComeMyWay]

Originally Posted by naemlo

So many unhappiness.... fortunately or unfortunately, I married a foreign woman and most of my time I am staying in foreign country. Financially, there is no pressure. Spend about 2-2.5k SGD per month, my wife can work or dun but I want her to work to spend her time in office better than eats, sleeps, shops or lazes around.

I married my wife after we had been together for about 5 years. She went thru shit with me.... almost a year without income, living off my little saving. She earned about 1000 SGD and paid for almost everything and we ate simple cheap meals with no complaint.

She is from a middle class family, retired parents and live simple life. Guess, it is the culture, the country she is in and brought up make her a simple lady with no desire to buy luxury stuffs, spend money wisely....

You are really lucky bro to have such a spouse

[Lamborghini]

I've never been married but I believe a woman is always a man's pillar of support regardless the situation.

I met a girl during my early school days and she had been by my side through the storm. She loved me, she motivated me, and she stood by me all the time.

When I graduated, I found a decent job. I saved well and planned for our future. However, a business opportunity came and I placed my savings on it. As always, she supported the idea whole heartedly but unfortunately within 14 months, everything went downhill and I lost my funds. I was young, relatively lost but she picked me up. Instead of faulting me, she encouraged me to carry on and even shared the responsibility.

Few months later, I had the chance to embark on a job which I've always dream of. The first 18 months was going to be tough with the very low pay and the responsibilities we had on our shoulders. But she encouraged me to go out and achieve my dream. This road was painful as most of the 18 months I was living overseas and the funds were really really tight. It was a such a struggle but her words were always positive. She did small jobs on the side during weekend to ensure the burden was lightened.

I will never forget her.

[fion.18]

Originally Posted by Lamborghini

I will never forget her.

Omg this kinda story I like. I'm curious, are u guys still tgt?

[Kuan Aik Hong]

Originally Posted by Lamborghini

I've never been married but I believe a woman is always a man's pillar of support regardless the situation.

I met a girl during my early school days and she had been by my side through the storm. She loved me, she motivated me, and she stood by me all the time.

When I graduated, I found a decent job. I saved well and planned for our future. However, a business opportunity came and I placed my savings on it. As always, she supported the idea whole heartedly but unfortunately within 14 months, everything went downhill and I lost my funds. I was young, relatively lost but she picked me up. Instead of faulting me, she encouraged me to carry on and even shared the responsibility.

Few months later, I had the chance to embark on a job which I've always dream of. The first 18 months was going to be tough with the very low pay and the responsibilities we had on our shoulders. But she encouraged me to go out and achieve my dream. This road was painful as most of the 18 months I was living overseas and the funds were really really tight. It was a such a struggle but her words were always positive. She did small jobs on the side during weekend to ensure the burden was lightened.

I will never forget her.

Like a korean drama movie...

[LeeHsienLoong]

I did regret allowing myself to be tied down to one woman.
However, due to family circumstances I was unable to voice much out.
Now looking back, it is not as bad as it looks.
It is important to have good communication, respect, and your own space.
Trust is vital too.

[Kuan Aik Hong]

Conclusion is that if not ready for commitments and sacrifice better stay out from the marriage game.