Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[JonesKnows]

Support and thanks for jokes.

[Hurricane88]

INDIAN HUMOR: A Sikh was walking his two dogs. A passer-by asked, "What are their names?"

The Sikh replied, "Rolex and Omega.”

"Wow, I have never heard those names for dogs,” the stranger said.

The Sikh explained, "These are watchdogs.”

[Hurricane88]

Now money not easy to earn. In order to increase my income, I decided to drive grab..

Morning I send wife to work. I picked up one passenger on the way. 🙎🏻‍♀️

Wife reached office first and she alighted. The passenger asked: why that lady not paying fare? 🤨

I reply: yesterday she slept over at my place, this week she don't need to pay for fares.👏👏

The passenger spoke softly: tonight I'm free too.👍

How? Grab or not?🤔

[Hurricane88]

*WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM*

A fat man saw an ad in a newspaper.....
"Lose 5kg in a week."

He called the company & the lady said..
"Be ready tomorrow at 6am."
The next morning he opened the door & found a beautiful girl with shoes & skirt saying “U catch me, u fuck me!” And the girl started running.
He started chasing but didn't catch her.

During the whole week he tried to catch her but couldn't. However he lost 5 kg.👌🏼
He then asked for the 10kg program.

Next morning, at 6 am he opened the door & saw an even more beautiful girl in bikini👙 saying
“U catch me, u fuck me.”
He lost 10kg that week. So he thought this program was awesome! And he decided to try the 25kg!!

So he asked for the 25kg but the lady said
"Are you sure?” 😌 “its really tough!"
He said "YES!"

Next day, at 6 am he opened the door and found a huge Negro guy saying “If I catch u, I will fuck u!

😜😂😂

[BK4ever]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Next day, at 6 am he opened the door and found a huge Negro guy saying “If I catch u, I will fuck u!

😜😂😂

great joke bro!

[Sumkieu]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

INDIAN HUMOR: A Sikh was walking his two dogs. A passer-by asked, "What are their names?"

The Sikh replied, "Rolex and Omega.”

"Wow, I have never heard those names for dogs,” the stranger said.

The Sikh explained, "These are watchdogs.”

Branded watchdogs! Good share bro

[duxx]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

*WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM*

A fat man saw an ad in a newspaper.....
"Lose 5kg in a week."

He called the company & the lady said..
"Be ready tomorrow at 6am."
The next morning he opened the door & found a beautiful girl with shoes & skirt saying “U catch me, u fuck me!” And the girl started running.
He started chasing but didn't catch her.

During the whole week he tried to catch her but couldn't. However he lost 5 kg.👌🏼
He then asked for the 10kg program.

Next morning, at 6 am he opened the door & saw an even more beautiful girl in bikini👙 saying
“U catch me, u fuck me.”
He lost 10kg that week. So he thought this program was awesome! And he decided to try the 25kg!!

So he asked for the 25kg but the lady said
"Are you sure?” 😌 “its really tough!"
He said "YES!"

Next day, at 6 am he opened the door and found a huge Negro guy saying “If I catch u, I will fuck u!

😜😂😂

Hahahahahaa damn funny bro, ROFL

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[Lucytoday]

Lol that's funny!

[galenciaba]

Very good jokes shared, thanks bros

[35cents]

nice one bro....

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

INDIAN HUMOR: A Sikh was walking his two dogs. A passer-by asked, "What are their names?"

The Sikh replied, "Rolex and Omega.”

"Wow, I have never heard those names for dogs,” the stranger said.

The Sikh explained, "These are watchdogs.”

[Hurricane88]

🐜An ant knocked on the door of a house....

The house owner opened the door....

"I want a place to stay," said the ant.

"I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost," said the owner.

The ant went inside and occupied the vacant room.

After some days, the ant brought in another ant 🐜and requested the
owner, "Can you please allow this ant to stay with me?"

"Oh sure.... you can do so without paying any rent," said the owner.

After some days, the ant brought a 3rd 🐜ant and requested the owner
to allow it to stay with them.

The owner agreed to it without asking for any rent.

This went on as the 🐜ant brought in more and more ants and the owner agreed to let them stay without any rent.

One fine day, the ant brought in the *10th* ant 🐜and requested the owner
to allow it to stay with them all.

The owner said, "OK, you can all stay here but now you all need to pay rent."

*Now the question is:*

Why did the owner ask for rent when the 10th ant came in?
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🤔
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🤔
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🤔
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Because they were now *tenants!*
🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜

_*PS*: I am also looking for the guy who sent me this! 🤨_

[Hurricane88]

A Woman walks into a butchery shop just before closing time and asks,

"Do you still have chicken?"

The butcher opens his deep freezer, takes out his only chicken left and puts it on the weighing scale. It weighs 1.5 kg. 🐓

The woman looks at the chicken and at the scale and asked,
"Do you have one that's a bit bigger than this one ?"

The butcher puts his only chicken back into the freezer, and then takes it out again.

But this time when he puts it on the scale, he craftily keeps his thumb on the scale pan.

And the scale now shows 2 kg.

"That's wonderful," said the woman.

"I'll take both of them, please!"
🐔🐔

In a situation like this, you realize at once that your integrity and reputation are firmly on the line.

Your wisdom becomes foolishness, and your cunningness becomes stupidity.

Until now the butcher has his head inside the big deep freezer, looking for the first chicken. 🐓

*Remember:*

1. Always tell the truth, and you will be free !!!

2. A good name is better than riches.

3. Live to express yourself, and not to impress others.
😊😊😊😘😘☕

[Hurricane88]

This one is an absolute riot!!🤣🤣🤣

In a crowded New York City at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt.

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more.

For the second time, attempted the step, and, once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

With little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step.

About this time, a burly Sardarji who was standing behind her picked her up effortlessly by the waist and placed her gently on the steps of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the Good Samaritan and screeched, "How dare you touch me! I don't even know who you are!"

The Sardarji smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my jeans three times,
I kinda figured we were friends."
😂😆😝😅🤣

[garion]

enjoy................................