Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[Hurricane88]

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[SBMEDSUP]

Love all the Put In jokes.

[Hurricane88]

*Have a Nice Laugh and a Nice day too*

1. Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:
Guitar, for sale........ Cheap....... . .......no strings attached.

2. Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!

3. On a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives.

4. When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...
I Gave Up Reading

5. My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses....
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.

6. You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When:
Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick..
Or when your Son starts To wipe It Off

7. Sign In A Bar:
'Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance.'

8. Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way....

9. Behind Every Great Man,
There Is A Surprised Woman.

10. The Reason Men Lie Is Because
Women Ask too Many Questions..

11. Laugh And The World Laughs With You,
Snore And You sleep Alone

12. The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.

13. Sign At A Barber's Saloon :
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business..

14. Sign In A Restaurant:
All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.

Laughter makes you happy, it works faster than alcohol.

[Hurricane88]

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: “Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl”. The man says: But I am not a New Yorker! Oh, then it will say in newspapers in the morning: “Brave American saves life of little girl”, the policeman answers. But I am not an American! says the man. Oh, what are you then? The man says: I am a Saudi! The next day the newspapers says: *”Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog”*.

[JosephM]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Good share bro

[Hurricane88]

[diputs1269]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Extend to all sistas here, cheers!

[brece]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Good move. With huge profit margins then give mere discount of 5%.

[SBMEDSUP]

Pls share more nice jokes.

[warbird]

😂 Joke of the day

The nun and the Russian soldier XXX

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath, he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt, I'll explain later.”

The nun agreed. A moment later two military police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?”

The nun replied, “He went that way.”

After the military police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Ukraine.” The nun said, “I understand completely.” The soldier added, “I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!”

The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would've seen a great pair of balls. I don't want to go to Ukraine either.”

😂😂

[warbird]

My nagging wife died while we were vacationing in the Holy Land.

file:///C:/Users/bigst/OneDrive/Desktop/Dying%20in%20Holy%20Land.mp4

[10ya10]

Originally Posted by warbird

😂 Joke of the day

The nun and the Russian soldier XXX

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath, he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt, I'll explain later.”

The nun agreed. A moment later two military police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?”

The nun replied, “He went that way.”

After the military police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Ukraine.” The nun said, “I understand completely.” The soldier added, “I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!”

The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would've seen a great pair of balls. I don't want to go to Ukraine either.”

😂😂

Wahahahaa this is fucking good

[warbird]

Here is a nice joke.

[dyelook]

lucky she didnt say its a kancil with flat tyres...
laughter bumps...