Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread] - Page 957

Skrotum · #**14341** 30-10-2023, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyelook

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.

She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring
at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee...

"What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the room.

The husband looks up from his coffee, "I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. Do you remember back then?", he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.

Yes, I do", she replies.

The husband pauses.

The words were not coming easily.

"Do you remember when your father caught us in my car?"

'Yes, I remember", says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues.

Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said,
"Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?""

'I remember that also", she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...
"I would have been released today if only I took the right decision!

can’t live with them, can’t live without them either

dyelook · #**14342** 03-11-2023, 10:25 AM

A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out more about the young man. The father invites the fiance to his study to find out more about him.
"So what are your plans?" the father asks.
"I am a bible scholar" the young man replies.
"A bible scholar, huh", the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice home for my daughter to live in, as she is used to having?"
The young man replies, "I will study & God will provide for us."
"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, which she deserves?" asks the father.
"I will concentrate on my studies & God will provide for us," replies the young man.
The conversation proceeds in this manner, which each question the father asks, the young man replies that God will provide.
Later, the mother asks, "How did the conversation go?"

The father answers:-
"He has no job & no plans, but the good news is that he thinks I am God."

dyelook · #**14343** 03-11-2023, 03:42 PM

Once there was a man whose name was “Unbelievable”, married to a very nice woman...
Both were a very contended couple...
At his death bed, Unbelievable told his wife...
Darling now that i'm dying and i have a wish that i don’t want to carry this idiotic name into eternity...
He further asked his wife to promise him that she will NOT put his name on his gravestone...
So she put, “Here lies a faithful husband who has never betrayed his wife...
From that day people would passby his grave and reading the epitaph, they would say, this is “UNBELIEVABLE"

SirLance · #**14344** 04-11-2023, 04:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyelook

Once there was a man whose name was “Unbelievable”, married to a very nice woman...
Both were a very contended couple...
At his death bed, Unbelievable told his wife...
Darling now that i'm dying and i have a wish that i don’t want to carry this idiotic name into eternity...
He further asked his wife to promise him that she will NOT put his name on his gravestone...
So she put, “Here lies a faithful husband who has never betrayed his wife...
From that day people would passby his grave and reading the epitaph, they would say, this is “UNBELIEVABLE"

Thanks for the nice joke.

dyelook · #**14345** 04-11-2023, 08:33 PM

laughter bumps...

WOOHOO · #**14346** 04-11-2023, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SirLance

Thanks for the nice joke.

WOO UPZ 👍 👍 👍

SirLance · #**14347** 05-11-2023, 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WOOHOO

WOO UPZ 👍 👍 👍

Me just try to up you but cannot leh. Need to wait for me to up 1000 others. Think may need to up another few hundreds.

oxeso · #**14348** 05-11-2023, 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyelook

laughter bumps...

Ups u rd 3, shun bian spread reps..

WOOHOO · #**14349** 05-11-2023, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SirLance

Me just try to up you but cannot leh. Need to wait for me to up 1000 others. Think may need to up another few hundreds.

No worries cheers when you can ya 🤭👍😛

dyelook · #**14350** 07-11-2023, 11:05 PM

laughter bumps...

dyelook · #**14351** 09-11-2023, 11:25 AM

A business man packing for a trip glances in his briefcase.
“Honey?”
“Yes, darling?”
“Honey,” he says, in mild exasperation, “why do you persist in putting a rubber pack in my briefcase every time I go on a trip? You know I only have eyes for you. I’d never be unfaithful.”
“Oh, I know, darling, and I trust you,” she replies sweetly, “It’s just that, well you know, with all those terrible diseases out there, it would make me feel better to know that if anything did happen, you’d be protected. So please, darling, take it with you, won’t you? For my peace of mind?”
“Oh, alright, if you put it that way,” he relented, “I’ll take it along. But for safety’s sake, better give me more than one!”