I stopped going to KTV for 5 months and end up losing contact with all my friends

[y238992]

I had a very good group of core friends that I know since poly. They introduce me to KTV. I did not like to go KTV at first but after getting stressed and bullied in the working world, I became addicted to KTV..maybe we went once every 2 to 3 months, though got a short period of time we went almost every month.

However, 5 months ago, I cut the habit as I wanted to change my life. I also did not like being made fun of during KTV sessions, they like to make fun of my lack of love life or work problems. Got one guy, someone i consider a close friend also like to secretly take photos too. They invited me since but I (very, very politely) said no.. since then, they stopped contacting me, not even for a meal out.... Since then, I realised that they are more willing to communicate with each other than with me, as I still keep in touch with one of them.

Since then, I became total male loner. I tried joining meet-up groups for hiking and book reading clubs but only managed to form passing acquaintances and not genuine friendship. I am heartbroken that my male friendships of over 20 years turned out to be so shallow.

[chubbybastard]

Originally Posted by y238992

I had a very good group of core friends that I know since poly. They introduce me to KTV. I did not like to go KTV at first but after getting stressed and bullied in the working world, I became addicted to KTV..maybe we went once every 2 to 3 months, though got a short period of time we went almost every month.

However, 5 months ago, I cut the habit as I wanted to change my life. I also did not like being made fun of during KTV sessions, they like to make fun of my lack of love life or work problems. Got one guy, someone i consider a close friend also like to secretly take photos too. They invited me since but I (very, very politely) said no.. since then, they stopped contacting me, not even for a meal out.... Since then, I realised that they are more willing to communicate with each other than with me, as I still keep in touch with one of them.

Since then, I became total male loner. I tried joining meet-up groups for hiking and book reading clubs but only managed to form passing acquaintances and not genuine friendship. I am heartbroken that my male friendships of over 20 years turned out to be so shallow.

What's your point anyway? You gay or smtg? I don't have any guy friends too and I'm just fine. Go find some girls to make friends with. At least that can develop to something more like a gf or fuckbuddy. Why would you wanna hang out with guys that don't wanna hang out with you is beyond me.

[chinacuntlover]

Want to change life but after become unhappy
As one grow older, skin must become thicker la,
Words are cheap, just let them pass by, after a while, they will get tired of rewinding same old topic, agree with what ever they say about you
"Yalor, its just me, what to do??", if someone say you are ugly, dont retort but compliment back, " yalor unlike you, so handsome sia" when you compliment instead of fighting back, the guys will back off, hopefully.

[fallen11]

Originally Posted by y238992

I had a very good group of core friends that I know since poly. They introduce me to KTV. I did not like to go KTV at first but after getting stressed and bullied in the working world, I became addicted to KTV..maybe we went once every 2 to 3 months, though got a short period of time we went almost every month.

However, 5 months ago, I cut the habit as I wanted to change my life. I also did not like being made fun of during KTV sessions, they like to make fun of my lack of love life or work problems. Got one guy, someone i consider a close friend also like to secretly take photos too. They invited me since but I (very, very politely) said no.. since then, they stopped contacting me, not even for a meal out.... Since then, I realised that they are more willing to communicate with each other than with me, as I still keep in touch with one of them.

Since then, I became total male loner. I tried joining meet-up groups for hiking and book reading clubs but only managed to form passing acquaintances and not genuine friendship. I am heartbroken that my male friendships of over 20 years turned out to be so shallow.

if these are all the friends you have, not having any friends is better for you

[Pictionary]

Originally Posted by y238992

I had a very good group of core friends that I know since poly. They introduce me to KTV. I did not like to go KTV at first but after getting stressed and bullied in the working world, I became addicted to KTV..maybe we went once every 2 to 3 months, though got a short period of time we went almost every month.

However, 5 months ago, I cut the habit as I wanted to change my life. I also did not like being made fun of during KTV sessions, they like to make fun of my lack of love life or work problems. Got one guy, someone i consider a close friend also like to secretly take photos too. They invited me since but I (very, very politely) said no.. since then, they stopped contacting me, not even for a meal out.... Since then, I realised that they are more willing to communicate with each other than with me, as I still keep in touch with one of them.

Since then, I became total male loner. I tried joining meet-up groups for hiking and book reading clubs but only managed to form passing acquaintances and not genuine friendship. I am heartbroken that my male friendships of over 20 years turned out to be so shallow.

Ktv is not a good place to socialise. It makes oneself very tired. Same for casino too.

It is not easy to get a proper job and learn proper skills. Best is to save money and dun anyhow spend money. Who knows you cannot take it, then leave the job.

That's the least i say. Even if cannot make things better, dun make it more worse. If no money, no job, you will suffer like hell.

[Banaber]

you reached the age where guys gather at one place only haa. if you cant enjoy ktv, then no point mingling with them.

[NVIDA]

Hi Bye friends…….

There are lot. U don’t need them

[jaguarbkk]

Originally Posted by y238992

I had a very good group of core friends that I know since poly. They introduce me to KTV. I did not like to go KTV at first but after getting stressed and bullied in the working world, I became addicted to KTV..maybe we went once every 2 to 3 months, though got a short period of time we went almost every month.

However, 5 months ago, I cut the habit as I wanted to change my life. I also did not like being made fun of during KTV sessions, they like to make fun of my lack of love life or work problems. Got one guy, someone i consider a close friend also like to secretly take photos too. They invited me since but I (very, very politely) said no.. since then, they stopped contacting me, not even for a meal out.... Since then, I realised that they are more willing to communicate with each other than with me, as I still keep in touch with one of them.

Since then, I became total male loner. I tried joining meet-up groups for hiking and book reading clubs but only managed to form passing acquaintances and not genuine friendship. I am heartbroken that my male friendships of over 20 years turned out to be so shallow.

Those are your chiong kakis. Not really considered to be friends.

Go out more and join more activities bah. No big deal.

[DunhillSmooth]

On one hand can say they were not very good friends.

But from their perspective, KTV was the common interest that kept you guys in contact, cannot really fault them for the friendship being dropped.

Regardless, good to see you are changing your life for the better. Atb bro

[oxeso]

Count ur blessings.. they can tahan 1 post wonders for 20 years is considered champion liao.

[LooksLikeJesus]

Originally Posted by y238992

I had a very good group of core friends that I know since poly. They introduce me to KTV. I did not like to go KTV at first but after getting stressed and bullied in the working world, I became addicted to KTV..maybe we went once every 2 to 3 months, though got a short period of time we went almost every month.

However, 5 months ago, I cut the habit as I wanted to change my life. I also did not like being made fun of during KTV sessions, they like to make fun of my lack of love life or work problems. Got one guy, someone i consider a close friend also like to secretly take photos too. They invited me since but I (very, very politely) said no.. since then, they stopped contacting me, not even for a meal out.... Since then, I realised that they are more willing to communicate with each other than with me, as I still keep in touch with one of them.

Since then, I became total male loner. I tried joining meet-up groups for hiking and book reading clubs but only managed to form passing acquaintances and not genuine friendship. I am heartbroken that my male friendships of over 20 years turned out to be so shallow.

I was in a similar friendship crisis situation like you over 20 years ago. Let me tell you about male friendships in Singapore. Never had female platonic friendship (So, cannot comment on that).

Mine was not from poly but from work and it wasn't about going to KTV. Had also some from secondary school days. From what I learnt from mine and yours. These type of friends are "fair weather friends".
They WILL drop you at any sign of inconvenience. Hence, I NEVER contacted any of them for almost 20 years and ignored /block any sign of their initiative (FB friend requests, Whatsapp, etc).
Generally, they just being "Kaypoh" / trying to sell you something. These people are simply a waste of your time and time is a non renewable resource.

Usually the causes of excommunication are:

1) Either you're with them or you're out
2) Cannot be bothered with your problems
3) Different social status
4) Perceived as the bottom of the hierarchy within the group

From what I read from your words. It seems you'r 1, 4 or both. Unfortunately , that's how human relations are. You can't change their perception but you can definitely change yourself.

Keep in mind, while all of you are still young. I assume you all are like what? 30+?
Consuming copious amount of alcohol may result in:

1) Alcoholic Hepatitis
2) Fatty Liver Disease
3) Alcohol poisoning
4) Hand tremors
5) Malnutrition
6) Death in some cases

I suggest you hang in there, till you find more reciprocated friendship. It's better to be alone at times than surrounded by people who never have any regards for others besides themselves. Bear in mind, most people are like that in this country. And friendship like any other human relations need all parties involved to put in GENUNINE effort and time

[Raniance]

Either you learn to not care, or you have to self reflect why you have problems maintaining friendship.
I am a loner, do not much care by nature, friends are a bonus but not a necessity for me.

[cjalbert]

Originally Posted by y238992

I had a very good group of core friends that I know since poly. They introduce me to KTV. I did not like to go KTV at first but after getting stressed and bullied in the working world, I became addicted to KTV..maybe we went once every 2 to 3 months, though got a short period of time we went almost every month.

However, 5 months ago, I cut the habit as I wanted to change my life. I also did not like being made fun of during KTV sessions, they like to make fun of my lack of love life or work problems. Got one guy, someone i consider a close friend also like to secretly take photos too. They invited me since but I (very, very politely) said no.. since then, they stopped contacting me, not even for a meal out.... Since then, I realised that they are more willing to communicate with each other than with me, as I still keep in touch with one of them.

Since then, I became total male loner. I tried joining meet-up groups for hiking and book reading clubs but only managed to form passing acquaintances and not genuine friendship. I am heartbroken that my male friendships of over 20 years turned out to be so shallow.

I have more than 50 hi bye friends but it does not beat having a real friend. I can pay money to get many such friends. We are too old to be bothered by such small shit. Take care and enjoy your life. I do not care about what others think because they dont matter.

[BlueDemon]

It is cheaper and more satisfying to chiong alone or with 1-2 close friends.

These are associates who just want to chiong. They are not going to share your sorrow or joy. So nothing to lose actually.